Did Kimora Lee and Russell Simmons Read the Book Prior to Selling?

In an article written in the NY Post (http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/divorced_couple_russell_together_uVh2xkvRf75W1G2NhKqnIL?CMP=OTC-rss&FEEDNAME) regarding the yard sale of Kimora Lee Simmons and Russell Simmons the article made mention of the book book Make Up Don’t Break Up.  The book was a barely-touched copy and was being sold amongst thousands of dollars of furniture etc.  The yard sale was being filmed for Kimoras reality show “Life in the Fab Lane”.  Russell and Kimora split in 2006 but said they were separated years before that and continued to live under the same roof. In the book  there is mention of the “Brush with Death”.  “This is a separation for a specified period of time, with permission, and done with love.  It gives the couple an opportunity to resolve fears, become stronger and discover how much they mean to each other.”  Many couples stay together and try to talk through these stages.  Talking rarely works with Distancers.  As I tell my clients, Communication is not everything- you can talk a relationship to death!  “We have to fear losing someone to raise our anxiety level to a point where we’re willing to face our fears and accept the unknown elements of our future together”.

There is no mention of infidelity of any kind adultery or financially within the couple, they got divorced in January of this year by means of  “irreconcilable differences”.  Perhaps ear tagging a few pages in the book, highlighting important notes or using the Smart Heart Dialogue could have helped this couple through this time.  Dr. Bonnie has a 98% rate of couples who stay together using her Smart Heart Skills and Dialogue.  “I can save any relationship, if I’m given a chance and the people involved are willing”  Says Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. (www.doctorbonnie.com)

To help save couples from times like these im offering an affordable alternative to private therapy.  I have an upcoming seminar that will give couples/singles a chance to hear other issues of couples, and perhaps learn from others mistakes or learn the appropriate dialogue to help save their relationships.  To sign up for one of my seminars you can visit www.doctorbonnie.com and click on Teleseminars.  Be a fly on the wall or proactive in the call.  Dr. Bonnie will be answering your questions/concerns live on this call.

Adultery the Forgivable Sin Teleseminar

Adultery the Forgivable Sin Teleseminar

Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?

September 14th 8:30 pm EST

Have you committed adultery?

Have you been a victim of an unfaithful significant other?Have you grown up with a parent who committed adultery?

This seminar is for Singles, Couples, Married, Unmarried or Children of Adulterers!

Tune into this action packed teleseminar for tips from Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil- The Adultery Buster and #1 Love Expert in the World!

Attendees can speak directly to Dr. Bonnie Weil and receive your questions answered live on the call. If you have questions but don’t want to speak, you will be given an email address you can anonymously send your questions to have answered during the call! Whether you’re a participant or want to be a “fly on the wall” this call is for you.

Adultery is far too common in relationships. Find out how we can stop this ever growing epidemic! Did you know that there is a cheater “type?” Find out the traits of people most likely to cheat in a relationship. Guard against and adultery proof your relationship and your life.

Did You Know ….

* One partner in 80% of marriages commits adultery.
* A leading dating website for married people who cheat has skyrocketed from 1 million to 4.5 million members in just 1 year.
* Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil is the only expert who says adultery is a treatable disease.
* Although 65% of couples break up when adultery is committed, Dr. Bonnie has a 98% success rate of couples she works with who stay together.

What you will learn on this call:

* The Fab 5 (secrets) to keep him/her home with you.
* Learn 4 ways to have an affair-proof marriage/relationship.
* Learn about 3 brain chemicals that need to be in balance to stop adultery in its tracks.
* How to wake up and shake up your stale relationship.
* Why you should break up to test your relationships staying power.

Early Sign Up Special! Sign up by August 31st and receive $15 off!
https://doctorbonnie.com/?page_id=634

Eat, Pray and LOVE your Relationship!

With Eat Pray Love hitting theaters, I suspect there’s a lot of soul-searching going on. The movie is based on the book of the same name which focuses on the author Elizabeth Gilbert’s round-the-world journey to seek out enlightenment and peace after her divorce. It’s reported that her publisher paid her an advance which helped to finance the trip and there’s no doubt that would sweeten the pot and help make such a trip doable. Most of us probably won’t see an advance that enables a trip like that but there are plenty of things you can do to ensure enlightenment and peace without leaving home.

And since my area of expertise is relationships, here are a few tips to keep things happy on the home front – and to help ensure the only round-the-world excursion you’ll take is one for fun and relaxation, with your significant other by your side!

Don’t over-ride emotion. Sure, it can seem easier to just sweep heated discussions or uncomfortable communications under the rug but sooner or later things will resurface. Opting not to talk about things will likely lead down a road you don’t want to be on; one where you end up in a knock down drag out fight, or one where you’re pushed apart and possibly even enter into an affair.

Instead, learn to fight fair. The idea is to provide a safe place where each person can feel comfortable talking about their fears and frustrations. These types of habits can be the glue that helps to create passion in a relationship, even during and spite of disagreements and conflict.

Know your “Imago.” Imago is the imprint that makes you who you are – your background, upbringing, friends, job history, education and so forth. But it’s also the “image” of what you’re looking for in a partner. As you transition through life changes with your significant other, a big part of making that transition successfully comes from the way you deal with stressors as a couple. Being aware of how YOU deal with these things (your imago) and acknowledging your partner’s imago helps to forestall any preconceived notions or assumptions. It all comes back to being honest with yourself and your partner!

Have an affair – with your own partner! People are looking for novelty, for that dopamine high we get when we try something new and adventurous. Unfortunately, many people sacrifice a relationship they’ve worked hard to build on the quest for that high. There are ways to recreate these feelings with your partner, eliminating the need to look outside your relationship. You know those feelings you had when you first met? That’s the newness and excitement you’re looking for. Bring new elements into your relationship, and help yourself fall back in love with your partner.

These are just a few creative and basic ways to encourage healthy relationships. For more, check out Make Up Don’t Break Up, Financial Infidelity and Adultery the Forgivable Sin.

Fighting Fair Could Save Your Marriage

Fighting in a relationship doesn’t have to signal the end – but rather, it’s HOW we fight that makes all the difference. I’ve long been teaching couples how to fight fair and now new research shows that it’s things like our tone of voice, words we use, whether or not we hear each other out that contributes to how effective and productive fighting can be, according to the Wall Street Journal.

“All couples disagree—it’s how they disagree that makes the difference,” explains Howard Markman, professor of psychology at the University of Denver and co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies. Dr. Markman has conducted research that looks at how couples deal with conflict for the last 30 years. He found that, perhaps surprisingly, fighting doesn’t necessarily mean a relationship is on the rocks, in fact, couples who argue well are happier. Or, as Dr. Markman says, “You can get angry, but it’s important to talk without fighting.”

The latest statistics from his research published in the Journal of Family Psychology also show that couples who had trouble with communication and used it in a negative way before marriage – ie, to criticize, belittle, leave the room during an argument or disagreement – were more likely to end up divorcing.

Perhaps surprisingly, there’s also little distinction made about the so-called differences between arguing, fighting, bickering or even nagging – they’re all forms of expressing dissatisfaction with a situation or a person and learning how to convey these feelings, and how to respond to them, can make all the difference. Here are some things I’ve been telling my patients about how to fight fair:

You can start out by using what I call “Smart Heart Skills and Dialogue,” which I talk about in my book, “Make Up Don’t Break Up.” The idea is to provide a safe place where each person can feel comfortable talking about their fears and frustrations. These types of habits can be the glue that helps to create passion in a relationship, even during and spite of disagreements and conflict.

Just as learning to fight fair can be imperative to a successful relationship, arguing in the wrong way can also drive a relationship into the ground. I encourage having a weekly ten minute heart-to-heart with a figurative emotional “bullet proof vest” to protect from hurt, anger and defensiveness, as you listen and echo back what you heard. In this scenario, each partner agrees to be sensitive but frank and to not take things personally.

But the bottom line is, don’t push things under the rug and believe the lie that people in good marriages don’t fight. It’s HOW you fight that’s important.