Much of our bandwidth as it relates to relationships that make headlines is taken up by stories of cheating boyfriends and husbands. But there’s a fundamental component that’s making waves more and more – which is both unfortunately in its reality but helpful in dispelling myths – and that is: women stray as well. No one is automatically immune from the possibility of infedelity.

An article on this week points out that often when men cheat they’re doing it for sex while women cheat for love, therefore more relationship survive male cheating. Issues related more to sex and physical attraction are seen as more commonly able to be worked through where as issues related to falling out of love with your partner and falling in love to someone else are viewed as insurmountable.

As I talk about in my book, Adultery the Forgivable sin, I believe there are few things – adultery included – that couples can’t work out if they’re both committed to doing so. One of the things I suggest as a way to work through a troubled relationship is to take a break from eachother. Sometimes given a bad rap by being seen as the gateway to the final divorce or break up, I think a break, when done properly by two committed people, can save a relationship. If you’ve suffered a breach of trust with your partner – whether male or female – I urge you to, of course, talk to someone in counseling but to also consider (under their supervision) breaking up to make up.

If you’ve decided this would be a good step for your relationship, how do you engage in a “break up” with the intention of helping your long-term relationship?

1. A break up must never be used as a threat or for revenge.
2. It should only be used as a wakeup call.

3. If you don’t do a break up to MAKE UP, it is a high risk of a permanent
break up or emotional breakup (A Brush with Divorce).

4. The less emotional and more loving you are when you initiate the break
up the better.

5. If you don’t do the “break up” (The Brush with Death) carefully, the

relationship may permanently end.

In some cases, you may need the extreme feeling of experiencing life without the other person in order to determine how much they mean to you. This “brush with death” will help determine that, will give distance to things that may become too heated to discuss in the current state of the relationship, and can renew each person in their commitment to each other.


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