Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil's Cheat Sheet |
The Cheat Sheet Tips comes from “Financial Infidelity” by Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D. |
| RISK FACTOR |
POINT VALUE |
YOUR SCORE |
MILESTONES:
Certain events may trigger old harmful patterns. |
Decade birthday? (-2)
Promotion (-2)
New Home (-2)
No recent milestones (+2) |
|
EMOTIONAL AVAILABILITY:
Feelings of abandonment or emptiness may trigger financial infidelity.
|
You or your partner travels regularly? (-2)
One of you consistently works over time (-2)
You rely on each other for socializing (-2)
New baby becomes focus of attention (-2)
Both feel secure in relationship, partner meets emotional needs (+2)
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TEMPTATION:
Situations that encourage spending may lead to financial infidelity.
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Binge spending and hiding purchases (-2)
Spend time with friends or colleagues who spend lavishly (-2)
Feel peer pressure on trips or while shopping (-1)
Stick to budget no matter the circumstances (+2)
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NEW FRIENDS:
Keeping up with the Joneses can quickly spiral out of control.
|
Pressure to join country club or similiar (-2)
Need to drive newer car than someone else has (-2)
Clothing must have designer label (-2)
Constantly redecorating or purchasing items for home (-2)
Peers generally in same earnings bracket (+2)
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COUPLES TIME:
Spending time together can help limit spending money.
Date night encourages communication, restores passion. |
Hardly any time together? (-2)
A few dates a month? (+1)
Weekly dates? (+2) |
|
INTIMACY:
Frequent or daily expressions of affection, such as cuddling, kissing, or sex (especially if it's planned), keep couples connected. |
Not very affectionate? (-2)
A little affectionate? (-1)
Very affectionate? (+2) |
|
FIGHTING STYLE:
It's bad to never fight. Blowouts, show passion. Holding grudges puts distance between you. |
Hardly ever fight (-2)
Hold grudges (-2)
Fight occasionally? (+1) |
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YEARS MARRIED:
It can be harder for long-term couples to make changes in their relationship. It can become harder to find the energy to do so as well. Passion fades after seven years. The first year can be rocky, too. If there was financilal infidelity in a previous relationship, there is likely to be financial infidelity in subsequent relationships. |
Married 7+ years or previously married? (-2)
Previously married (-2)
Newlyweds? (-1)
Married 1-6 years? (+1) |
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FAMILY INFLUENCE
Having families who can impact or control your money situation, whether positively, or negatively, can add stress to a relationship.
|
One or both parents welathy (-2)
One or both parents likely to need financial support (-2)
Sibling disagreement about inheritance or level of financial participation for parents' care (-1)
Parents not a factor in considering long-term finances (+2) |
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| TOTALS |
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If your score is 5 or more, you are in great shape. Keep doing what you're doing and enjoy the benefits!
If your score is 0 to 5, you are on track, but need to keep checking in with each other. Don't shy away from the hard discussions.
If your score is -1 or less, you may need to go back and review some of the previous six steps. Don't give up — take stock of your relationship stage and get to work!
Read Even More on relationships at DoctorBonnie.com |