Another Reason to Love Marriage: Longevity
New York, NY…………… If you feel like fixing the car one more time or taking out another load of laundry might kill you – think again. Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D, comments on a study revealing that getting married could extend your life for up to 17 years: “In this case, a longer lifespan likely has to do with human touch and interaction. For example, babies can thrive without sight, without smell, even without hearing. But they cannot thrive without being touched.”
The study published in the American Journal Of Epidemiology shows that single men have a 32 percent higher chance of death across their lifetimes than their married counter parts. This means that they could die eight to 17 years prior to the average married man. Statistics for women are better: they face a life expectancy shortened by about seven to 15 years on average.
The lack of continued attention and affection over a lifetime can manifest in what Dr. Bonnie calls a Bio-chemical Craving for Connection, due to dealing with things like stress, separation and loss. People who experience this craving are more likely to engage in risky behaviors as they seek out a “high” that will mitigate the pain they’ve experienced.
Conversely, people in relationships typically receive a positive type of “high” without even knowing it. “Oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone,” provides warmth and security,” explains Dr. Bonnie. Love reduces stress and makes a person happy.” Touch is important – we see that much from the start of our lives: infants deprived of affection will literally perish from a syndrome called “failure to thrive”. “Babies can thrive without sight, without smell, even without hearing. But they cannot thrive without being touched,” says Dr. Bonnie Weil. This is something that doesn’t change much over our lifetimes – as adults we still thrive most in affectionate environments.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists. Her book, Make Up Don’t Break Up recently won the New York Times “Relationship Book of the Year” award.
Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity (Making Money Sexy).
Renee Talon, Renee at DoctorBonnie dot com or phone 941-429-8803
Dr. Bonnie has 2 Press Release writers. Available if anyone would like to speak about our services.
Is Sex Higher During Hurricanes?
New York, NY……..People in areas of the country that rarely see any inclement weather besides snow, are prepping for a hurricane this weekend. People typically spend more time inside during a hurricane than they would even in a snow storm, and they may be edgy about the weather.
This, says Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, gives couples a chance to connect and spend more time together than they would normally. In her book, Make Up, Don’t Break Up, Dr.Bonnie mentions that weather can be a catalyst for physical intimacy. It’s of course important to do everything possible to stay safe physically, but there are some emotional benefits to be gleaned from this experience if we can slow down and notice them.
Conversely, bad weather can make people nervous, claustrophobic, foster addictions and increase eating. Some people may use this as an excuse to further their bad habits, but instead of relying on these crutches – which really just exacerbate the stress and nervousness – make time with your partner for snuggling, talking and kissing. Don’t just watch television, says Dr. Bonnie! Instead, use this time productively, to connect with your partner and deal with any problems that arise in a healthy way.
And stay safe!
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists. Her book, Make Up Don’t Break Up recently won the New York Times “Relationship Book of the Year” award.
Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity (Making Money Sexy).
Renee Talon, Renee at DoctorBonnie dot com or phone 941-429-8803Dr. Bonnie has 2 Press Release writers. Available if anyone would like to speak about our services.
A Twist on the Seven-Year Itch
We’ve all heard of the seven-year itch: the point in the relationship, or so it goes, where the honeymoon phase is over, real life has begun and dissatisfaction sets in. But what if you make it past that – WAY past that – and then things fall apart? This seems to be happening more and more as couples reach the point in life where kids are out of the house, they retire, and then end up spending time together 24/7. Divorce rates for the over-60 crowd are rising and lawyers also confirm this trend, saying they’re seeing handling more divorces among those in their 50s and 60s. Nowadays as people live longer, and marriages are expected to sustain themselves for decades at a time, some think that this is an unrealistic expectation.
Additionally, dating sites that cater to the baby boomer generation are seeing an uptick in membership. The director of one such site, FiftyAlready.com, has noticed this trend: “When the children have left home and retirement looms, being with your husband or wife becomes a full-time occupation and the relationship is going to go one way or the other,” says Director David Pinless as quoted in the Telegraph.
However, it’s not as if a relationship suddenly goes bad when retirement and empty-nesting sets in. This period of life changes and increased “couple-time” can, however, exacerbate a problem that already exists. Which makes maintaining a healthy relationship no matter what season in life all the more important. When couples get to the 30 or 40 year mark, I advise them not to expect that a big change – like a retirement or a child heading off to college – will be the panacea for any issues they have in their relationship. To the contrary, such a large change could only make things worse.
This makes it important, throughout your years together, to know yourself, and know your relationship. For example, if you’re the type of couple that thrives on independence and enjoys occasional but quality time together, don’t expect that being around each other full-time will be a walk in the park when retirement comes. You may want to each pursue activities in order to continue making contributions to your community and to your self-development.
And, it bears stating that if at any point in the relationship things seem off or one of the people in the marriage is unhappy, it’s never a good idea to avoid dealing with a potential conflict. Waiting till you’re 40 or 50 years into a relationship won’t make things any better! I don’t believe that it’s “unrealistic” to expect people to commit for the duration, but it is unrealistic to think things will coast along swimmingly without some effort.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists. Her book, Make Up Don’t Break Up recently won the New York Times “Readers Choice Award” award.
Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity (The #1 Relationship Wrecker).