Dr. Bonnie course with Ed2Go will include references to the items below:
LESSON 1 SUPPLEMENTAL MATERIALS
These credits were missing from Lesson 1 Supplemental Materials
Fogarty, Thomas F. The Distancer and the Pursuer. Compendium II, The Best of the Family. New Rochelle, New York: The Center for Family Learning, 1978-1983.
_____ , Triangles. Compendium I, The Best of the Family. Rye Brook, New York: The Center for Family Learning, and Family Center, Georgetown University Medical Center, Washington, D.C., 1973-1978.
excerpt from
Make Up Don’t Break Up by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pgs. 265, 266
LESSON 1 CHAPTER III SUPPLEMENTAL MATERIALS
Are You a Pursuer or a Distancer?
Supplemental Material for Lesson 1 Chapter 3. Are you a pursuer or a distancer? Take the test here.
excerpt from
Make Up Don’t Break Up by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pgs 10-1
LESSON 4 – FIGHTING FAIR
SUPPLEMENTAL MATERIALS
Supplemental Material for Lesson 4 Fighting Fair excerpt from Make Up Don’t Break Up by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pg 143
LESSON 8 SUPPLEMENTAL MATERIALS
Discussed is
- 30 Second Kiss
- 20 Second Hug
- Verbal Aphrodisiacs
These articles are found on the accompanying DVD “Falling in Love and Staying in Love” that accompanies the book Make Up Don’t Break Up by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil.
excerpt from
Make Up Don’t Break Up by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – Attached to back cover
LESSON 9 SUPPLEMENTAL MATERIALS
Supplemental Material for Lesson 9 – Cheat-0-Grams by Mel Brooks.
Reader’s Genogram (Cheat-O-Gram)
Royal Family’s Genogram (Cheat-O-Gram) page 57
Author’s Family’s Genogram (Cheat-O-Gram) pg 60
excerpt from
Adultery The Forgivable Sin by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pgs. 53, 57, 60
LESSON 11 – Finance SUPPLEMENTAL MATERIAL
This material is supplemental materials for Ed2Go Lesson 11 on Finance:
excerpt from
Financial Infidelity by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 1st Edition pg 73
THE PREHISTORIC POWER STRUGGLE
…. Most women need to learn how to approach their partners, who get defensive and feel criticized, controlled, or put down when they’re given negative feedback.
But how can men listen when they feel attacked? How can women talk when men get angry, abrupt, or minimize? How can men open up when women shut them up with their hurt or angry reactions? How can women shut their needs when men feel controlled even by the simplest suggestion? The answer to all of these questions is “fair fighting.”
excerpt from
Make Up Don’t Break Up by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pg 143
THE BULLETPROOF VEST EXERCISE
Step 1: Complaint
• Request an appointment to talk with your mate. Be honest about the topic. You will be venting your pain and anger over this betrayal.
• Set a specific time limit to make the prospect less forbidding: say, twenty minutes per person. Request and honor time-outs if the discussion becomes too intense.
excerpt from
Adultery: The Forgivable Sin by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pg. 139
Chapter 12: FIGHTING FAIR
“It takes two to speak the truth. One to speak and the other to hear.”
– Henry David ThoreauRage! Anger! Fury! If they are not acknowledged and expressed, the hurts we feel can become covered over with anger, grudges, and defensiveness—emotional reactions that are damaging to our relationship, our well-being, and our health.
The way to avoid negative symptoms of hurt emotions is to express them and resolve our power struggle with our partner using Smart Heart Skills for fair fighting.
excerpt from
Make Up Don’t Break Up by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition, pg. 141-143
How to Confess to an Affair
FOR THE DECEIVER
2. Do not confess in anger. Cool down and make an appointment for a later time. Say you have something important to discuss.
4. Try to reassure your mate that he or she is loved. Mention good times that you two have shared.
excerpt from
Adultery: The Forgivable Sin by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pg. 125
Confronting an Affair
FOR THE DECEIVED
1. Confront your mate with your suspicions even if you’re afraid of the answers and afraid he or she will leave….
5. Face the betrayer and look him/her in the eye. Do not permit diversions such as television…
excerpt from
Adultery: The Forgivable Sin by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pg. 126
PENANCE
In almost all cases, the betrayed is so exceptionally angry or obsessed by the affair that the betrayer must prove his good faith (and suffer) before they can proceed….
excerpt from
Adultery: The Forgivable Sin by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pg. 144
LASH THE LOVER (TIME LIMITED BY PERMISSION OF THE ADULTERER)
The betrayed gets to attack the Other Object of Affections, ask questions, and complain about how this has ruined his/her life. This is ONLY time this can be done, although you can go through the exercise as often as needed….
excerpt from
Adultery: The Forgivable Sin by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pg. 145
Adult daughters of Adulterous Fathers
When they reach maturity, the daughters of unfaithful fathers often feel — among other things — angry and mistrustful of all men. Frequently their self-esteem is damaged and they respond in predictable ways.
They may try to recreate their father by marrying an adulterer…..
excerpt from
Adultery: The Forgivable Sin by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pg. 63
Adult daughters of Adulterous Mothers
These women often fear close relationships and are attracted to adulterous, distant, or married men. Some become predatory and promiscuous, trying to get back….
excerpt from
Adultery: The Forgivable Sin by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pg. 64
Adult Sons of Adulterous Fathers
Because of the continuing double standard, adulterous men sometimes boast of their exploits to their male children and may even pass along their mistresses.
excerpt from
Adultery: The Forgivable Sin by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pg. 65
Adult Sons of Adulterous Mothers
Because of their own forbidden Oedipal fantasies, many men refuse to admit that their mothers ever had lovers.
excerpt from
Adultery: The Forgivable Sin by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pg. 67
Dr. Weil’s Cheat Sheet
On this page you can find Dr. Weil’s Cheat Sheet and fill it out for yourself.
excerpt from
Adultery: The Forgivable Sin by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil – 2nd Edition pg. 99
Dr. Weil’s Theory of the Biochemical Craving for Connection
Watch this video of Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil talking about the Biochemical Craving for Connection