Can a Pill Cure Adultery?
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, Best-selling author & Love and Relationship Therapist, thinks so – and in her psychotherapy practice, she’s seen a 98 percent success rate with couples traumatized by adultery.
Propelled by her own family’s legacy of addiction and adultery, Dr. Weil discovered a connection between an overabundance of sugar in the blood and risky, thrill-seeking behavior. With the help of an Internist MD, Dr. Weil developed her theory and has been treating adultery as a disease ever since.
Dr. Weil believes that an adulterer’s “biochemical craving for connection” is a disease, which can be addressed with a change in diet and medication. Monogamy is a conscious decision to be faithful and stay in love, and adulterers are often thrill-seekers, thriving on danger and risk-taking. The combination of eliminating sugar from the diet and balancing blood sugar and brain chemicals with two supplement — Lithium Orotate and Oxytocin—led patients to report feelings of greater clarity, focus, and good judgment, resulting in better choices, and re-bonding with a partner. The supplements help to control temptation and the compulsion to cheat when paired with a special, blood sugar balancing diet (which includes the elimination of alcohol) and frequent exercise to counteract stress, loss, and separation.
The combination replaces the feelings of elation that may come with adultery, recreating the same chemicals our bodies produce when we are truly happy or in love. A partner who has been betrayed and may suffer symptoms of PTSD can also benefit from these supplements, hastening forgiveness and understanding.
Dr. Weil is available to discuss her theory further and provide testimonials from patients who have benefitted from her treatment (names must be changed for publication).
Disclaimer: DO NOT try these supplements without a doctor’s supervision and full medical workup.
Here are some case examples that I talk about in my book “Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery” understanding our biochemical craving for connection.
One such example is Devon, people with blood sugar imbalances can become easily obsessed, developing addictive and self-destructive behavior in order to calm down and lower their anxiety. Some examples are sexual adultery, drug use, alcohol abuse and overeating to calm down reduce the anxiety.
“Thrill-seeking” behavior, like adultery, is increased by blood sugar imbalance, stress, and OCD. This is why we use pills to reduce the anxiety and create a calmness. Oxytocin is similar to the forbidden fruit orgasm, which you have during an affair.
It is important to note that risk-taking and “thrill-seeking” behavior heightened by Vasopressin is (a hormone) increased by hypoglycemia and stress. Vasopressin (hormone) that can seek out dangerous “thrill-seeking” behavior increased even more by those with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) which is what we see in most adulterers.
Our Oxytocin is inhibited by stress so the “thrill-seeker” (who already have a high level of Vasopressin to calm down and seek out …..
The foods we eat provides the building blocks for every hormone and chemical in our bodies. If we eat foods that are building blocks for chemicals that make us feel good, they act like natural painkillers (endorphins), dopamine (the molecule of joy), and serotonin for mood which causes depression when it is too low. When serotonin is normal, we will feel calm, content, and happy.
Having too much sugar can upset the brain chemical balance and result in out of control and self-destructive behavior. For example – Marty and Mara, Marty had several affairs, his daily diet consisted of alcohol, pasta, and bread which all turned into sugar. His adultery stopped when he followed the diet of no alcohol, no sugar, and a restricted diet with special emphasis on making sure he took the Lithium Orotate and Oxytocin pills. His adultery returned when he “forgot” to take his pills, and became “tired” and “bored” with the diet.
When questioned by me why he was sabotaging himself, he said the diet was “too boring,” and he wanted to get that “thrill-seeking,” danger, and risk-taking feeling back that he felt from committing adultery. Marty also got back his poor judgment, and lack of clarity when he sabotaged himself. He then left his wife for 12 months to go on a sexual spree. At the same time, this sabotage was contagious and his wife Mara stopped taking her Oxytocin, and her PTSD came back.
He went on to say, “it’s difficult to stop the adultery, it feels too good. I’m having so much fun without the pills. I like having no clarity”. He relied on the part of the brain that is reward driven and addictive.
It was a long way back – he craved what he was allergic to, the sugar and the sugar took the place of the pills. He got a high, then a low so he would commit adultery for the “thrill-seeking” drug, induced high, as he explained it, to counteract the low. The Oxytocin pill he was taking before helped his OCD as well so he could control his compulsions.
One week before his wife presented him with divorce papers, Marty, who loved to live on the edge, agreed to take the pills again, stop eating sugar, and drinking alcohol. I am happy to say that they are still together and very happy. The betrayed (Mara) still takes the Oxytocin also, as she continues to have PTSD which Oxytocin is very helpful for as well.
Today he has a very strict diet, exercises regularly, takes his pills daily without missing, and has been faithful for the past 2 ½ years, no temptations to act out. What happened in this couple’s case is his brain chemicals were balanced for more clarity after the blood sugar was balanced with the help of the pills he takes daily.
Another one of my patients, Chloe, had low serotonin, low dopamine, she felt no joy, and no sense of aliveness. When given supplements to reduce her stress and feelings of depression, she began to get her feelings back for her partner again and stopped the adultery.
Another example is Joel who knew (for years) he craved and was allergic to sugar and understood the protocol, but consciously sabotaged himself. He went on a 3-week ice cream binge and refused to take the Lithium Orotate and Oxytocin. Joel was “testing” me, and the doctor working with him. He did not believe that his unbalanced chemistry and stopping the pills that had helped him with clarity, judgment, calmness, and contentment, caused him feelings of depression, pessimism, and lack of passion for Susie.
When Joel could not get the “high,” he needed from the food he turned to sex with other women for self-medication. He began performing poorly at work and reached such a low point that he ended up separated, then begging Susie to take him back after a six-month stint of “living with a girlfriend,” and being a free spirit.
Today Joel and Susie are healing and working together on their marriage. Joel tried no more stints with me and the doctors and is dedicated to not self-medicating, and not using adultery as a wedge. He feels stable and content with the pills and his balanced blood sugar, giving him more clarity and better judgment, he also exercises every day which when done together prevents acting out – adultery.
The change in the diet and the pills, my patients say, takes away cravings for alcohol (which lowers inhibitions) so there is less chance of being tempted to cheat. I’ve seen this in my practice and also documented this in my book, Can We Cure And Forgive Adultery.
Without balancing brain chemistry, sugar imbalances, and diet change, adultery will resurface no matter how much psychotherapy you have and rear its ugly head again. Patients came back 2 years later with recurring adultery caused by stopping the pills, not following the diet, not eliminating sugar and alcohol, and not exercising regularly.
My father, who is my inspiration for doing this work, unsuccessfully only had psychotherapy (4 times a week for 8 years), struggling for 25 years and not being able to stop cheating. He told his doctor’s it appeared to be something he could not control and manage even with Psychotherapy. My Father explained regularly his OCD symptoms (the compulsion to cheat) to no avail and said the symptoms became more pronounced with sugar (he had a daily candy draw) and when he did not eat for long periods of time (hypoglycemia low blood sugar) and was overly stressed. 25 years later he received the proper help from my Mentor, Dr. Fogarty, followed his protocol and completely stopped cheating on my mother for the next 25 years!
My dream and my father’s, who left this legacy, is seeing these questions with answers. Our dream is seeing these neurological and biochemical indicators also used, as psychotherapy progresses, so patients have objective measures of progress they are making, as these pills correct their neurotransmitter imbalances with the added talk therapy to rewire the brain. By balancing brain chemicals (neurotransmitters), adultery can be cured, controlling sugar imbalances, changing the diet, and adding exercise to do so. Per my father’s discovery, guidance, and painful journey (with my mother) and the successful implementation of my father and with patients over the years, I developed my theory The Biochemical Craving For Connection which has proven then and only then is the time to use psychotherapy to deal with the stress, loss, and separation to complete the treatment of the “disease” of adultery when the biochemical factors are also dealt with.
There is a physical basis for our cravings, whether we crave alcohol, drugs, food, or a new lover. We are attempting to recreate the emotional contentedness and connectedness we’ve lost. This is our “biochemical craving for connection.” We fill our emotional emptiness with lovers, booze or drugs because doing so causes our bodies to create the same chemicals we make when we are truly happy or in love. Lithium Orotate and Oxytocin brings the mind and body with the other protocol mentioned, to that safe, calm place. The change in diet, the balance of blood sugar, and the exercise which raises the dopamine (the molecules of joy), that brings people to that safe, calm place. This minimizes destructive, addictive, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) behavior as it calms and quiets the mind.
Our neurotransmitters are hereditary, passed down from generation to generation (thus the “disease” of adultery as we see in the Kennedy Family, and in the Royal Family). The good news is, despite their neurotransmitters being passed down from generation to generation, they can be changed, as the brain is plastic, and these pills start the new behavior, giving people choices and ways to alleviate the pain and to save their families and jobs from the trauma of the “disease” of adultery!
It’s time we see this “disease” as curable! Another benefit of the pills is it helps with getting the feeling back for you and your partner after adultery for both the adulterer and the betrayed!!!
Monogamy is a CONSCIOUS decision to stay faithful and to stay in love. However, without the pills, there is no clarity and judgment to make that monogamous choice. For saboteurs who are compelled to act out and hurt their families, there is no choice. These pills create a new choice to counteract compulsion or OCD.
For people who can’t stop cheating or feel they’re out of love with their partner this biochemical craving for connection treatment works!
Disclaimer: DO NOT try these supplements without a doctor’s supervision and full medical workup
Adultery is a treatable, curable, and a forgivable sin! Take a Sneak Peek into my best-selling Adultery book –
FREE!
Here is to finding and keeping real love!
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D. – Love and Relationship Therapist
Best-selling author of:
Adultery: The Forgivable Sin
Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery
Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples
Financial Infidelity; The #1 Relationship Wrecker
Alcoholism Awareness and Sugar Cravings
I am here to support you with any questions you may have from how to make up to how to deal with an affair or any other addiction. Please do not hesitate to call me directly at 212-606-3787 with your relationship questions.
Here is to finding and keeping real love!
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D. – Love and Relationship Therapist, Mentor & Coach
The best-selling author of:
Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery
Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples
Adultery: The Forgivable Sin – Turned into a movie Unfaithful: Discovery Health
It’s Time to Talk Credit Scores!
Avoid financial infidelity—the #1 relationship wrecker and a pre-cursor to infidelity—by talking about credit scores/finances early in the relationship—even on the first date! Good credit is sexy. The way people handle their money tells you a lot about how they handle romance and sex. Talk about your financial personality early on. Don’t wait until your relationship is at a critical point.
Financial Infidelity is more widespread than many think; studies show that 60% of couples say it is just as destructive as cheating. More than 34 percent of men and women keep money secrets from their spouse. Want to know if someone will remain faithful? Check their credit score. All the attributes required to maintain good credit, like trustworthiness and honesty, also apply to good relationships. Credit scores are like the dating equivalent of a sexually transmitted disease, giving a sense of someone’s financial past the same way an S.T.D. test gives some information about a person’s sexual past.
Make money talks sexy by using my Smart Heart Skills and Dialogue. This dialogue acts like glue when a relationship is new, and includes in a non-threatening way discussing credit scores early on so a relationship doesn’t stop before it starts. For singles who can’t find or keep loving relationships, these skills can help them get past that all-important third date.
To learn more about my Smart Heart Skills and Dialogue and infidelity—financial or otherwise—please check out to her books “Make Up, Don’t Break Up,” (winner of the New Times best dating book, 2010) which includes a DVD “Falling in Love and Staying in Love” and “Financial Infidelity, the #1 Relationship Wrecker.” You can also view a short video on financial infidelity at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMlPVftn-E0&t=1s
How Indulging in Cake Could Lead to More this Holiday Season
Adultery is up in epidemic proportions during the holidays because love making has no calories – and everyone is tempted to indulge. Throughout the holiday season, indulging in things like chocolate cake at midnight becomes the norm. That indulgence is stress-busting and self-medicating and these indulgent behaviors can lead to adultery. Sugar highs can result in addictive behavior, releasing what I call “a biochemical craving for connection.” The biochemical craving for connection, which has to do with stress, loss, and separation translate into thrill-seeking, self-medicating and stress-busting addictive behavior. It is similar to the rush that is obtained through drinking alcohol, committing adultery, and financial infidelity – shopping ‘til you drop.
The consumption of sugar in the United States has climbed dramatically every single year, with a steady climb upwards since 1980 according to the U.S.D.A. Additionally, Stephan Guyenet and research partner Jeremy Landen calculated that with over sixty pounds of sweeteners being consumed on average each year per person, the resulting diet of an average American by the year 2606 will be comprised of 100% sugar. Eating too much fructose and glucose can turn off the gene that regulates the levels of active testosterone and estrogen in the body. Sugar, which will turn off that gene, will impede you having an affair your own partner. Instead, you will turn to thrill-seeking with forbidden fruit (not your own partner). Those two statistics combined do not fare well for the intimacy of Americans in the future. Reducing or avoiding all sugar during the holidays is challenging, but may be necessary – especially if you’re prone to temptation.
For more about Dr. Bonnie’s theory on the Biochemical Craving for Connection, watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUuN96_jBqc and read her book, Make Up, Don’t Break Up
Beware of Financial Infidelity During the Holiday Season!
With Black Friday and Cyber Monday coming to a close, beware of the financial infidelity that can come along with increased opportunities to shop. Whether as a way to keep track of wish lists for a certain store that then make shopping in-person easier with shorter lines; or buying the items directly from mobile sites, more people will be wired in to their devices. This can increase instances of financial infidelity – and make it easier – during an already high-risk time.
I coined Financial Infidelity to describe the financial betrayal that can happen when one or both partners spend money behind the other’s back. It’s a form of infidelity that’s so subtle, people often don’t realize they’re cheating – and it is especially high during the holidays. This is partly due to increased pressure to spend, thanks to days like Black Friday, as well as the desire to find the perfect gift in order to please people. Financial Infidelity is higher around the holidays because there are so many temptations to spend, but if families and couples can go into this season with a game plan for saving money, then everyone wins!
Shopping, whether in person, online, or via a mobile device, and saving money is often like a game. When people get a good deal they feel like they’re winning, and often they are! It’s profitable for people to get great deals on items they would regularly buy at their normal price. Shopping this way during the holiday season can prove to be cost effective. But, as with everything, it should be practiced in moderation, lest it be used as a compulsive way to fill a void.
Utilizing technology to be more efficient and get good deals are great alternatives to other forms of thrill-seeking that tend to emerge around the holidays. However, people need to be careful of the additional pitfalls: People often “shop till they drop” (instead of just shopping for what they need), or turn to cheating to get an unhealthy high. Additionally, mobile shopping can be utilized as a way to hide purchases from significant others, whether it’s an overly extravagant purchase for yourself, or even for a mistress. The dark side of the holiday season is that inhibitions tend to be down, stress levels are up, and people suffering from stress, separation and loss are looking to fill a void. Instead of indulging these feelings, go for healthy highs that have a positive influence.
For more on infidelity – financial and otherwise – check out my book, “Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker”, or “Make Up Don’t Break Up” with a free video download, “Falling in Love and Staying in Love.”
https://www.amazon.com/Financial-Infidelity-Conquering-Relationship-Wrecker-ebook/dp/B0017U3GRG/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
https://www.amazon.com/Make-Up-Dont-Break-Finding-ebook/dp/B01KL6KTMG/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1480384624&sr=1-1&keywords=make+up+dont+break+up
Food is the new Porn
Since”eating healthy ” is the new craze and we want what we can’t have, it’s no wonder that food is being called the new “porn.” Have you seen those Facebook food videos popping up everywhere? They come complete with music to get you in the mood and an “oh yeah” finish! Luckily, many of my female patients can empathize with their partner looking at food porn. Breaking bread together is part of a relationship and these rituals give us memories together. We can connect by cooking together from these recipes. Best of all, there’s no guilt watching food videos like some may experience watching porn and forbidden fruit also gives us a dopamine high.
Trouble in Paradise: Dr. Bonnie Provides Antidote for Illicit ‘Cheat Retreat’
Dr. Bonnie responds to the most shocking cheating strategy in the works since Ashley Madison with her ground-breaking solution to “cure” infidelity.
Recently, news of a “cheat retreat” hit the wires outlining Illicit Encounters’ latest business plan to build a “sex island” off the U.K. coast where spouses can go to carry out their secret affairs and effectively get away with it. The Island offers their guests guaranteed secrecy with a wide range of professional services to help guests cover their tracks. This new practice of adultery takes scandal and deception to the next level and Dr. Bonnie has something big to say about it.
“The development of an institutional practice encouraging cheaters to ‘hideaway’ with even more lying and faking should be a major wakeup call. It’s a fundamental change in the way we’re thinking about relationships and love, and we need to understand the root cause of this phenomenon in order to fix it. Only 35 percent of couples stay together when adultery occurs…and it does not have to be that way. Getting rid of a person does not get rid of the problem,” says Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, renowned relationship therapist and author of Adultery the Forgivable Sin and Make Up, Don’t Breakup.
Her theory biochemical craving for connection explains adultery as a method of self-medication due to a blood sugar and brain chemical imbalance. During times of loss, separation, or stress, these imbalances are amplified and, if not treated, cause behaviors like addiction and adultery for temporary relief. Dr. Bonnie asserts that with the appropriate psychotherapy, which includes her revolutionary “smart heart dialogue,” we can reverse and correct the imbalances driving this destructive, thrill-seeking behavior.
Check out Dr. Bonnie’s expertise highlighted on the Discovery Health Channel:
Sign up for Dr. Bonnie’s my Ed2Go course on adultery prevention: marriage and relationships: keys to success here: http://www.ed2go.com/online-courses/marriage-and-relationships
Superbowl Eat-fest
The NFL’s Superbowl is the second largest US food consumption day which is only surpassed by thanksgiving , so that may lesson the guilt we all feel says Dr Bonnie when we pile on the chips, wings, and pizza.
She emphasizes we can eat healthy like “guacamole without the chips, but cucumber instead and cauliflower crust on pizza. Enjoy the eating fest without the guilt, and remember cuddling during halftime has no calories !!
Is Sex Higher During Hurricanes?
New York, NY……..People in areas of the country that rarely see any inclement weather besides snow, are prepping for a hurricane this weekend. People typically spend more time inside during a hurricane than they would even in a snow storm, and they may be edgy about the weather.
This, says Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, gives couples a chance to connect and spend more time together than they would normally. In her book, Make Up, Don’t Break Up, Dr.Bonnie mentions that weather can be a catalyst for physical intimacy. It’s of course important to do everything possible to stay safe physically, but there are some emotional benefits to be gleaned from this experience if we can slow down and notice them.
Conversely, bad weather can make people nervous, claustrophobic, foster addictions and increase eating. Some people may use this as an excuse to further their bad habits, but instead of relying on these crutches – which really just exacerbate the stress and nervousness – make time with your partner for snuggling, talking and kissing. Don’t just watch television, says Dr. Bonnie! Instead, use this time productively, to connect with your partner and deal with any problems that arise in a healthy way.
And stay safe!
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists. Her book, Make Up Don’t Break Up recently won the New York Times “Relationship Book of the Year” award.
Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity (Making Money Sexy).
Renee Talon, Renee at DoctorBonnie dot com or phone 941-429-8803Dr. Bonnie has 2 Press Release writers. Available if anyone would like to speak about our services.
Creating a Sex Scandal Without Sex
After the discovery of New York’s Democratic Representative Anthony Weiner’s provocative twitters to women—his job, reputation, and possibly marriage is in jeopardy. “We must stop looking at this type of behavior as ‘bad boy’ antics and see it as a disease,” Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil explains.
“We have gone from glamorizing infidelity to bastardizing it. It is now time to look at the underlying reasons for straying, cheating, and in the age of social media and Weiner’s case, ‘creating a sex scandal without sex’, explains Weil.
The newest revelation in this ongoing scandal and ensuing government ethics investigation adds another layer of complication to Weiner’s personal life. It has been reported that his wife, Huma Abedin, is pregnant. At a time when a woman needs her man most, Weiner is consumed with his own problems. The inclination to blame him for the inability to control his impulses is unfair according to Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, and NY Times Reader’s Choice award winning author of Make Up Don’t Break Up. Weil teaches couples another way to view this problem and offers her formula for treating the disease of infidelity.
“People who engage in this type of behavior usually have a high percentage stress, loss, suffer from separation from their partner, and are thrill seeking for the purpose of self soothing. They have what I call—a “Bio chemical craving for connection”. These elements are present in all of the high profile cheaters we have recently witnessed: Tiger Woods, Eliot Spitzer, David Letterman, John Edwards, and most recently Arnold Swarzenegger. When couples come to me, I test the adulterer for chemical imbalances, provide safe and restorative therapy, and teach both partners how to find the underlying reasons for cheating, take responsibility, stop blaming, and begin rebuilding their relationship.”
While our new age of social media has added a variety of opportunities to loosen the boundaries of social interaction, couples now have something else to consider in their relationship. “Not all partners agree that online flirting is taboo, and many couples might not agree on the definition of electronic flirting. This is a discussion all couples should have, and come to agreements and/or compromises,” warns Dr. Bonnie, who considers ‘sexting’ and online flirting a variation of and just as dangerous as cheating.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples) and winner of the NY Times Reader’s Choice award for best dating book 2010, Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity (Making Money Sexy).
Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Infidelity” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at www.DoctorBonnie.com.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, author of the NY Times Reader’s Choice Award winning book Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD Falling in Love and Staying In Love counsels couples considering breaking up, people who have committed adultery, and couples who want to strengthen their relationships damaged by resentment or unresolved anger, teaching people to “fight” to increase passion, bring back magic and restore the sizzle. Dr. Bonnie teaches Smart Heart Dialogue along with communication and connection tools, and counsels families and children.
For interview contact Diane Dennis, Inspired Media Communication at 503-678-1356 or dianeden@centurytel.net