Are your “Ghosts” (Blasts from your Past) impeding your present relationship or ability to move on to start anew?
For Singles, Separated, or even Married: Maybe you need to go back to the “scene of the crime”, so to speak so you can “remember to forget”. This proper “goodbye” and explanation may help with what REALLY went down so you stop blaming yourself or “mind reading”. You may be able to separate your issues and his or her’s so you can piggyback off this information to do it DIFFERENTLY the next time! After all Love is letting go of fear. It’s hard to do that when you don’t really understand the dynamics of the previous breakup. This can create a lack of confidence or trust on your part, which can also spook your new or potential partner, or have you misread the signals of “interest”. Reconnect to people you “let go” as a bridge to new connections. You may even have to SEE some of them to properly disconnect.
Dr Bonnie’s SmartHeart Dialogue :
- If you are in a present relationship: Red Alert: Make sure you inform, explain and get PERMISSION from the person you are dating or in a relationship with so they are not threatened or blind sighted and see the value for your present relationship!
- Example of tried and true Dialogue: to your present partner or future to “hopefully be partner”.
- “I seem to be stuck with my last good-bye” in a prior relationship. I do not really know why it ended or my part in the demise. Since I may be blaming myself or my past partner, it seems to be impeding and negatively piggybacking in my ability to be “all in with you”. I really like you, and want to move forward with us. I will call or email my ex to see if he or she is willing to give answers so I can let go and move towards you. Thank you for understanding. If you ever feel uncomfortable or threatened please dialogue with me immediately.
From “Makeup Don’t Break Up”: page 175: Smart Heart Insights; Dealing With Ghosts: Chapter 13: Reconnecting with your family: Going Home Again.
Purchase Make Up Don’t Break Up by Bonnie Eaker-Weil, PhD from 
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil is a renowned international relationship therapist and owner of a NYC private practice, with over 35 years of experience. She specializes in issues related to families, dating, marriage, and infidelity. She developed a theory for addiction called the Bio Chemical Craving for Connection. She is a five-time award winner as New York City’s Best Therapist. Dr. Bonnie is the author of 5 books including best seller and NY Times Readers’ Choice Award winning book Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker.” Her book “Adultery: The Forgivable Sin” was turned into the Lifetime movie, “Silence of Adultery.”
Dr. Bonnie has appeared on a 3 day series on The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show 5 times and received Best of Oprah in May 2013. She frequently appears on CNN, CBS, NBC, ABC, Fox News and Good Morning America. She has also been featured many times in USA Today, Men’s Health, The New York Times, and Cosmopolitan. Dr. Bonnie also teaches an Education 2 Go Course on “Marriage and Relationships: Keys to Success.
Dr. Bonnie is also available for phone therapy. Call 212-606-3787 for more details and to schedule an appointment with Dr. Bonnie.
