The National Sleep Foundation found that 1 in 4 married couples sleep in separate bedrooms! The National Association of Homebuilders predicted this years ago and started building dual master bedrooms as the new norm for custom houses. Different sleep schedules, snoring, and restless leg syndrome make it hard to sleep together, so people sleep separately instead. Couples can feel shame and worry about what sleeping in separate bedrooms means, but it’s becoming less of an indicator of fear of intimacy to those who opt for this arrangement to prevent fights or distance.
Even though it’s becoming more acceptable, you’re missing out on some of the most important bedtime rituals. Couples kiss and cuddle and have romantic and significant pillow talk before bed, especially when they go to bed at the same time. Some say you can still do that, and then go to separate bedrooms for sleeping. Some compensate by eating dinner together and spending more time together during waking hours. What happens outside the bedroom sets up what happens inside the bedroom. Set up romance magic. The cuddle hormone, Oxytocin, is activated by cuddling and sex and is needed even if you are in separate bedrooms. Many of my patients feel rejected when their partner retreats to different bedrooms. They feel like roommates, if they are not practicing romance magic in addition. “Not just roommates” has to be reinforced to restore and maintain sizzle-including goodnight and pillow talk rituals! This is essential connecting time. to be put in place even stronger with emotional and physical intimacy a real priority to negate the fallout of sleeping in separate bedrooms. In cases of snoring and separate bedrooms, these tips can save a marriage.
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