Sexual Harassment: Firing? It is a DISEASE – Change the Wiring

I call this the biochemical craving for connection. THIS IS A HEALTH ISSUE.

It’s treatable and curable; she should know, her father licked his problem after 25 years with this formula. Firing is not the answer.

As I write this article the list continues to grow, restaurateur Mario Batali, Matt Lauer, the longtime host of NBC’s Today Show was fired for sexual harassment, a few weeks ago Charlie Rose was also fired from CBS for sexual harassment, and more politicians are being accused or exposed.

What we are not understanding is that by firing all these people whether it’s from the entertainment industry, a broadcaster, or politician, we are not getting to the real nitty gritty of the problem. What is happening by firing people to scare and punish them into stopping this behavior, by letting them know the high stakes for their deviant behavior, is not helping the people to get the proper help.

The problem, as I see it, is that no one seems to be “getting” is that scaring people by taking away their jobs won’t work. For sexual harassers, the more danger, the better because of the “thrill seeking” component and the danger, like having oral sex in the oval office is part of the attraction.

Sexual harassers, much like adulterers, need help because their acting out is a disease, it’s contagious, and they need the proper help for this.

It cant be stamped out by firing people and shaming, blaming, judging, and scaring people because it’s missing the point and complicating the situation.

By women speaking out it is getting the attention it needs, but the solutions are not to fire or shame people its to do something about it.

This is a disease like alcoholism, and the more stressed our society is (we are more stressed and stretched than ever) the more this self-medicating, thrill-seeking, attention-getting, and acting out behavior occurs.

Let’s do something about it.

Instead of shaming and blaming, let’s fix it.

Adulterers and sexual harassers like Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, among others are people who act out through sexual deviations.

It’s important to note that they are even more triggered under the influence of alcohol. The reason being is that alcohol and other food or drinks high in sugar and addiction of all kinds, especially adultery are related!

Let me explain, stress, loss, or separation (we see this with politicians, Hollywood figures, corporate executives, etc.) creates a “fight or flight” behavioral reaction and most people turn to sugar or alcohol as they thrill seek to calm them and their anxiety down.

They then self-medicate from thrill-seeking and dangerous behavior which temporarily relieves their stress and blood sugar fluctuation from the stress to create a “high.”

This causes “acting” out behavior or poor impulse control and a form of the obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) which I believes can be treated, controlled and even cured with a special diet free of sugar; taking supplements to create clarity and good judgment to minimize the OCD and control impulses; and special exercise to create the “high” from the endorphin rush.

The high from the endorphin rush is a similar rush the sexual harasser experiences with thrill-seeking and dangerous behavior.

My opinion is treatment centers alone do not suffice, as the diet change, exercise and supplements are not part of the treatment. If people take the supplements described and stick to the special low sugar diet and psychotherapy if followed, they can be treated and even cured.

Remember, monogamy is a conscious choice, and you cannot make that choice when vulnerable.

Adultery becomes a natural painkiller during times of stress and blood fluctuations from stress helps to create a thrill-seeking “cocktail.” Adding sugar or alcohol fuels the “thrill seeking” behavior where there is no clarity or judgment to hold that line {where monogamy and “proper” behavior would be a choice).

A lot of the sexual harassers in the news over the past two months are examples of this.

It’s time we stop shaming and blaming as we did with alcoholism and not only treat this as a disease but see it as a disease. The OCD, the lack of clarity, and judgment, along with poor impulse control can be changed with the protocol I outlined.

We are now seeing a shift where women are speaking out because they realize that by doing so, they are no longer enabling the behavior. This, however, is not enough. This behavior needs to be seen as a disease that needs treatment rather than shame and judgment, or it will rear its ugly head over and over again.

If we want the harassment to stop, we need to TREAT the problem and not judge those who have the problem.

We are now seeing a flood of people who have experienced harassment, both men, and women. This is a wake-up call for all of us.

Doesn’t this tell us something if so many people in our society are experiencing this type of treatment and staying quiet about it? It’s important not to make light of the situation at hand, but this disease is just as prevalent, in my opinion, its a HEALTH issue like alcoholism, obesity, and diabetes. It’s good that this disease is finally getting the attention that it needs, although in a negative light. We still don’t have the UNDERSTANDING that this is a disease that I call the biochemical craving for connection.

Its time we stop blaming and shaming and get these thrill seekers the help they need instead of firing them.

We are now seeing this as an epidemic.

And just like obesity, diabetes, alcohol, and sugar go together adultery/sexual harassment and sugar also go together.

So many innocent men and women are affected by harassment, and since there is NO recourse in place when they do speak out its time we do something about this!

We need to TREAT this problem and not just JUDGE those with the problem.

From my private practice in New York City, and from my experience from childhood with my father who was an adulterer and cured his problem, with his help, I found that there is a link between, sugar, diet, stress and adultery/harassment. It is hard for all of us to see because adultery/sexual harassment is so hurtful to so many people. We are so turned off and put off by this behavior that it is hard to see it as a DISEASE.

This is a societal EPIDEMIC that needs to stop NOW!

Step 1 is to speak out.
Step 2 is to STOP IT!
Step 3 is to treat and not judge it.

Firing people is just putting a band-aid over the cut without cleaning it out.

Again, I refer to this disease as the biochemical craving for connection.

The time is NOW to fix this, my father did and so can any adulterer/sexual harasser who follows the protocol I referred to earlier.

Here is to finding and keeping real love!

Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert known as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists.  US Commerce Association voted Dr. Bonnie Best Therapist 2011-2017.

Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples, Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity; The #1 Relationship Wrecker.