Dr. Bonnie: The Highest Cheating Day for Women
Men Beware, Reports Dr. Bonnie: The Highest Cheating Day for Women, Reported by Ashley Madison Is February 15th, the Day After a Disappointing Valentine’s Day
Dr. Bonnie warns men that Ashley Madison’s, a married cheating website, statistics report that women’s highest enrollment to commit adultery is on February 15. This is due to being letdown by their husbands on Valentine’s Day with little romance magic.
Men should beware of the day after Valentine’s Day says relationship and adultery expert, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. Ashley Madison, a website designed for “discreet encounters” reports that February 15th sees the highest rate of enrollment for women. It’s the day after what’s often a disappointing Valentine’s Day. When their husbands let them down with little or no romance magic on what should be the most romantic day of the year, women turn elsewhere.
Dr. Bonnie cautions and advises men to remember and honor their wives on February 14th. Men need to be careful not to take their wives for granted, and make sure to show appreciation for them and what they do every day. Research from Dr. Bonnie’s, “Financial Infidelity” states that on average, women work an extra 36 hours a week beyond their career. Most women in Dr. Bonnie’s practice complain of being ignored by their husbands or not listened to. They are not being treated in a special way even on Valentine’s Day.
The Ashley Madison website brags of a population of nearly 40 million profiles of those seeking out extramarital affairs and their data shows that holidays like Valentine’s Day, when not celebrated, influence women to seek out adultery to combat feelings of emptiness. A woman may “act out” with cheating to boost her feelings after being unappreciated. She will over-correct with an affair the day after Valentine’s Day, so she can feel heard, and be “romanced.”
Dr. Bonnie adds that there is a domino effect for the children if their mother is forgotten on this holiday. The children could also take her for granted, disrespect her, or do that same behavior to their future partner when they marry. She advises that men invite children to partake in choosing Valentine’s Day gifts for their mother. This way they feel included in an activity that values their mother. This will be conveyed to her and make her feel loved on Valentine’s Day and beyond. This sentiment is priceless. Dr. Bonnie’s theory, the Biochemical Craving for Connection is paramount in understanding how to prevent adultery and is demonstrated in “Unfaithful“, an Oprah and Discovery Health documentary. As are her books, “Adultery: the Forgivable Sin” and “Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?”
Men should be careful to avoid the following behaviors or they may find their wives logging into Ashley Madison on February 15th. These are the warning signs: forgetting Valentine’s Day, no card, no present, no flowers, no chocolate, no restaurant reservation, no acknowledgment from children, no romance, no appreciation, no intimacy, or no acknowledgment of caretaking or “little” or special things she does. Don’t devalue her or make your wife feel unimportant.
Dr. Bonnie says that all of this can be reversed and you can prevent straying by putting your partner in the front of your mind. Use the SmartHeart skills, as outlined in her book, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up” and accompanying video “How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples” that she advises to patients on Valentine’s Day and every day.
She recommends some simple steps like:
- A 30-second kiss that raises your “cuddle hormone,” oxytocin, (demonstrated in video). This bonds the partner and promotes feelings of safety and desire.
- A 20-second hug releases dopamine, the “feel-good” hormone, that makes you feel happy and alive.
- Think of your wife three times a day–positive thoughts at work. Statistics show that those who do this daily have less of a chance of divorce.
- Take influence from your wife. Men who do this have happier marriages.
- Take her out once a week–not just on Valentine’s Day.
To prevent adultery, fall back in love with your partner, and stay in love, do daily mini connections. Kiss goodbye in the morning and hello when you come home, snuggle before going to sleep and before getting out of bed in the morning (even if you go to bed or get up at different times), try to go to sleep at the same time, eat at the same time at least three times a week and on the weekends, go out once a week away from discussions of children, work, and problems. Make sure to talk to your partner for ten minutes a day–scheduling or carpooling does not count. No texting or calling your partner to discuss your day, you have to take the time to speak face to face. Hold hands when walking or when watching movies. Look into each other’s eye for 30 seconds daily. Say “I love you” often and with meaning and compliment each other daily. Again, face to face! These are verbal aphrodisiacs. Recreate the romance magic in your marriage. It will not come “naturally” after the first 18 months and the honeymoon stage are over. It needs to be recreated daily. These simple SmartHeart skills and dialogue will ensure Valentine’s Day every day.
For more info on smart heart skills, romance magic and preventing and treating and forgiving adultery, enroll in Dr. Bonnies online education to-go course, Marriage and Relationships: Keys to Success. Check out her book, winner of NYTimes Reader’s Choice Award, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples” for more warning signs and solutions to reach magic in marriage.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists and US Commerce association. Manhattan best therapist. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker.
Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN.
Dr. Bonnie is available for relationship therapy via phone. Call 212-606-3787 for more details and to schedule an appointment with Dr. Bonnie.
Forgetting Valentine’s Day is Not Coincidental
Warning to men: “Forgetting Valentine’s Day is not coincidental” says relationship therapist and adultery expert, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. “It’s an unconscious, destructive, grudge holding, romance wrecker.”
Make Valentine’s Day sizzle instead!
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD warns couples about how Valentine’s Day can be destructive and can even lead to divorce.
It does not have to be, consider Valentine’s day a litmus test for taking the temperature of a marriage or relationship. Wives or girlfriends expect romance magic and sizzle on the most romantic day of the year. Instead, they are extremely disappointed if their husbands or boyfriends “forget” this romantic holiday.
Forgetting Valentine’s Day is “accidentally” on purpose to create drama, a fight, even a breakup, temporary as it may be. It’s a wake-up call, and a cry for help. His behavior is a symptom of unresolved relationship debris. Dr. Bonnie calls it “revenge forgetting” to her patients. The “forgetful” partner may have some resentment or hold a grudge with anger. Maybe he feels taken for granted or hates feeling nagged (brought on by stonewalling or not listening) or demanded upon. He may harbor negative feelings subconsciously, so he redirects this by disappointing her. He displaces his own quiet rage by getting his wife angry.
Some excuses women should never accept are: it’s only a retail holiday, it’s too commercial, every day is Valentine’s Day, restaurants are crowded and too expensive, or florists rip you off. These excuses cause disappointing feelings and are real “romance wreckers.” They set the stage for distance, detachment, and possibly divorce.
Dr. Bonnie teaches SmartHeart skills, as emphasized in Make Up, Don’t Break Up (https://www.amazon.com/Make-Up-Dont-Break-Finding/dp/1605503606) , to help identify a grudge and prevent build up of resentments. Learning how to “fight fair” can increase passion by clearing the air. These “skills” especially help men learn to communicate by appointment instead of walking out of the room during discussions. “Fair fighting” teaches empathy and affection and this increases passion when the offending partner has a time limit for fighting and has permission do so, in short intervals. Examples, performed by real, live couples, can be found in Make Up, Don’t Break Up’s online video, “How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples.”
Men need many “time outs.” They are allergic to women’s emotionality. With “fair fighting,” men can air their resentments instead of storing them and the conflict works as an aphrodisiac for eventual passion. The power is in getting heard, not getting mad. Letting go of grudges is not about being right or fair, it’s about what works.
If a partner is missing out on Valentine’s day, he is missing out on one of the most romantic days and moments for potential intimacy. Forgetting the holiday is often a recurring pattern, so Dr. Bonnie suggests combating that by encouraging wives and girlfriends to take the initiative. Remind him about the Valentine’s Day, go shopping with him for it, and get him excited about the celebration.
To seize the moment, use Dr. Bonnie’s SmartHeart tips from her book “Make Up, Don’t Break Up” () and accompanying streaming video “How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples.” Since Valentine’s Day can be used to measure the temperature of a relationship, more often than not, men forgetting Valentine’s Day is a sign of something more. These warning signs can be signs of adultery or the ripening of a relationship for an affair, so heed the warning. Men are not in touch with their feelings and typically hold in these feelings. Men need to be guided as they don’t always know how to feel or what they feel. Most men are “connectable by instruction.”
To quote Dr. Jeff Weil, Dr. Bonnie’s husband, “If I knew what I felt, I would tell you, so I welcome your help.” SmartHeart dialogue was born by dialoguing to help Jeff understand what he was feeling and be able to express it. SmartHeart dialogue helps them dig deep with small doses of communication and results in an endorphin high with “play” after the talks.
Kissing is a “Smart Heart” opportunity that emits Oxytocin and releases “feel good” hormones that bond you to your partner and create a feeling of safety. This negates the bad feelings a partner might harbor. If issues remain unresolved, they are a wake up call and a cry for help, so Dr. Bonnie recommends counseling. Romance should be number one priority on your list and it is the first to go when relationship troubles are brewing.
Beyond forgetting Valentine’s year after year, some other signs that he may be secretly harboring a grudge include,: excusing his behavior, minimizing the holiday, putting down his partner for wanting to celebrate, makes fun of the holiday, acting like a Scrooge, pushing partner away, turned off when affection is initiated by the other, leaves early in the day, comes home late, is argumentative, is not talkative around you but is with others, little or no intimacy with partner, “too tired” or uses work to distance themselves, shuts down when approached, stonewalls with silence, denies anything is wrong, does not want to discuss the grudge, or gets moody when asked about it.
To grudge bust,: do not say yes when you mean no, watch out for delayed reactions that cause resentment later, stand your ground, don’t cave even if it’s easier, “act as if” even if you don’t “feel” the good feelings, do not do “peace at any price” it leads to war, write letter representing par
For more information on “fighting fair” to fight grudges and SmartHeart skills, Check out her book, winner of NYTimes Reader’s Choice Award, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples” for more warning signs and solutions to reach magic in marriage.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine and the US Commerce Association as one of New York City’s best therapists. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery? , Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker .
Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com (https://doctorbonnie.com) .
Beware Pre Valentine’s Day: February 13th is Mistress Day says Dr. Bonnie
Consider this a heads up to wives: “Beware of February 13th. Pre Valentine’s Day is Mistress Day”, says marriage and relationship therapist, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil.
You may be looking forward to a romantic, special Valentine’s Day, but your husband may be keeping someone else out late the night before. According to AOL reports, February 13th is possibly busier than February 14th for florists, restaurant reservations, and lingerie stores because men, especially those with the Madonna-mistress complex, are wining and dining their mistresses.
The mistress feels like the second fiddle being honored on the 13th, so often the husband over corrects to alleviate the guilt of “sloppy seconds.” He might buy lavish and romantic presents for her like diamonds and jewelry, while the wife gets a more “practical” gift like a blender or vacuum cleaner. According to research done by Ashley Madison, a website created for “discreet encounters,” cheating husbands are likely to spend over 2 times the amount of money on their mistresses compared to gifts for their wives. Dr. Bonnie says this is to pacify the mistresses who are relegated to “leftover time,” as most of his time is spent at work or with family. The husband uses gifts to make up for her lack of status.
Dr. Bonnie wants you to heed the warning signs of Mistress Day. Pay attention if you’re noticing late nights on February 13th, vagueness about his whereabouts, or a distant and distracted partner. The husband may even be taking his wife out to the exact same restaurant for Valentine’s Day as he did his mistress the night before. Same maitre d, same waiter, same food, different woman! Dr. Bonnie explains the Madonna Mistress complex, as found in Adultery: The Forgivable Sin, as a symptom of men “splitting” their wives in half emotionally. The wife is the madonna–she is put on a pedestal as mother and caretaker of him and his children. The mistress fulfills his need for thrill seeking, mystery, novelty. She is used for excitement and physical desires.
Men with this complex might forget romantic touches like a card, chocolates, or flowers, but will fulfill their perfunctory duty by taking their partners out to dinner. He might have to be reminded about the holiday or the wife may have to make the dinner reservation. Some other warning signs of the madonna-mistress complex include a partner’s physical rejection, even when the other is wearing lingerie or “spicing things up,” rejecting date night, or provoking arguments when wife is playful or flirty. He comes late into marital bed nightly after wife asleep, “jumps “out of bed before wife awakes to go to the gym, makes sure he is not alone with wife, brings family along always, is “tired” for face to face, or is a workaholic. Maybe, conversations revolve around work or children only. If these warning signs are familiar, seek out counseling as the relationship is ripe for an affair. Adultery can be prevented, treated, and forgiven if it is caught early, and the adulterer stops the behavior and shows remorse. Dr. Bonnie advocates having an affair with your own partner to avoid what she calls the “Biochemical Craving for Connection” with a mistress (as demonstrated in Oprah and Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful”).
She recommends using SmartHeart skills from “Make Up, Don’t Break Up” to prevent adultery and become a mistress instead of only a madonna.
It is important to go out with your husband. Make no excuses. Dress up and don’t talk about problems, kids, or money. Use the time to connect and court intimacy.
Do not drink alcohol during a rough patch. It is a depressant and makes you more confrontational and aggressive when talking about your problems with each other.
Sometimes, make sure to be more of a mistress than a caretaker. Don’t give unwanted advice.
Recreate those same brain chemicals you had when you first fell in love, back when you were in the honeymoon stage. A simple 20-second hug will rejuvenate dopamine and leave you with a fully alive, happy feeling. A 30-second kiss produces oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone,” making partners feel bonded and safe with each other. Keep falling in love with your own partner by having an affair with your own partner.
For more information on SmartHeart skills and the madonna in marriage, check out her book, winner of NYTimes Reader’s Choice Award, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples” for more magic in marriage.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists and US Commerce association. Manhattan best therapist. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker.
Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.
Dr. Bonnie is available for relationship therapy via phone. Call 212-606-3787 for more details and to schedule an appointment with Dr. Bonnie.
