As we near thanksgiving I ask patients and people who follow me to take a moment and reflect and give thanks of what you are thankful for and appreciate and grateful for this past year.

Thanksgiving is a good time to take stock of who you can forgive and who can forgive you!

It is the most traveled holiday meaning families are together which can be a blessing but also bring anxiety and old memories and even triggers and reactivity. It does not need to be that way.

Some helpful tips that I also have used myself with my own family as well as with patients!!

1. Keep it light (my dad’s advice) at thanksgiving gatherings and dinner

2. Stay clear of hot button topics like money and politics

3. Be sensitive to jokes or sarcasm so as not to insult or bully

4. Use activities as watching football, a movie, a game to dilute competition and minimize power struggles.

5. Bringing a guest or guests can negate or dilute possible family drama or chaos, as most families are on best behaviors when guests are present!!

6. Lower your expectations of your family. Remember it’s not where you come from, it’s how you finish! Look for positives and gratitude not what drives you crazy about going back home, “let the sunshine in.”

Making getting together with family a pleasure not a chore , even if you think your family is dysfunctional!! That’s what makes it interesting.