The Connection Between Foods and Your Mood

In a recent study published in the Journal of Clinical Investigation, fatty and sugary foods lift our moods. According to Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, a NY City based Psychotherapist, “Anyone that has an addiction issue has an unstable blood sugar level. Certain foods, especially sugars aggravate the addiction and encourages mood swings.  I see many patients who had addictions and they were treated by the changing of their diet, supplements and medication.  Once these areas were focused and treated by an MD, the patient later needed less psychotherapy.  I cure some patients with the hand of an MD, whom treats the body and brain chemicals, then we add in my Psychotherapy.  When I treat marital issues I always look at what they are eating.  Partners whom are rude in tone, abrupt, selfish, moody can be researched back to having a mismanaged diet.  People tend to self medicate with food, especially sugar as it calms the body down initially but in the end it stresses the body.”

 

Kentucky Derby: Warning signs of gambling addictions

New York, NY………….As the Kentucky Derby—a national tradition, rolls around with all its rituals and regalia Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, author of Financial Infidelity (Making Money Sexy), reminds couples of the warning signs of gambling addictions.

“The Kentucky Derby is a richly traditional event. However people, wherever they are, can get sucked into virtual betting online—another accessible outlet for people addicted to gambling,” warns Dr. Bonnie who adds that she has had many clients who kept their gambling habit a secret until they had taken their family down a path of financial ruin. Dr. Bonnie calls cheating with money financial infidelity. Financial infidelity is another form of cheating, and can be so subtle one doesn’t know they are doing it. Weil considers this addiction as well as others a “self medicating, stress busting, thrill seeking high—like a love drug.”

“Gambling, like all addictions is a bio-chemical craving for connection. When needs aren’t being met, people turn to a quick fix—an activity that gives immediate, but temporary satisfaction or thrill. Unfortunately many of these quick fixes easily turn into compulsive behavior. Once the high wears off from the purchase or behavior, people repeat it until they are in a full- blown addiction. Illicit sex, shopping, and gambling are easier than ever to engage in as all are available at the click of the keyboard from a personal computer.

“When a cycle of financial betrayals become entrenched, It is often just a matter of time before other areas of the relationship are damaged as trust is eroded, communication compromised, and emotional disconnection takes place,” explains Dr. Bonnie.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, relationship therapist, and winner of the NY Times Reader’s Choice Award for best dating book 2010 for Make Up Don’t Break Up reminds couples of the warning sings that their partner might be committing financial infidelity.

“If your credit cards are maxed out, unexplained bank balance transfers or stock and bond selling occurs, there is a good chance a partner is engaged in unhealthy spending,” says Dr. Bonnie.

Dr. Bonnie recommends couples participate in Smart Heart Dialogue (a communication technique originated by Dr. Bonnie and found in her books) to begin the process of reconnecting and meeting each other’s emotional needs so that the addictions, compulsions, or acting out will be replaced with fulfilling the need for emotionally intimate connection.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples) and winner of the NY Times Reader’s Choice award for best dating book 2010, Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity (Making Money Sexy).

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Infidelity” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at www.DoctorBonnie.com.

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Infidelity” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at www.DoctorBonnie.com.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, author of the NY Times Reader’s Choice Award winning book Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD Falling in Love and Staying In Love counsels couples considering breaking up, people who have committed adultery, and couples who want to strengthen their relationships damaged by resentment or unresolved anger, teaching people to “fight” to increase passion, bring back magic and restore the sizzle. Dr. Bonnie teaches Smart Heart Dialogue along with communication and connection tools, and counsels families and children.

Royal Fairytale Weddings

New York, NY…………………Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, explains the obsession with Prince William and Kate Middleton’s upcoming royal wedding. “Besides loving a fairy tale, the royal wedding symbolizes hope for couples. Even with an over 50 percent divorce rate, couples have not given up on the hope that dreams can come true, and that happy endings are a possibility,” explains Dr. Bonnie.

During the build up to this momentous event, people are reminded of the disappointing dissolution of Prince William’s parent’s marriage and the tragic death of Princess Dianna. The marriage of Prince William and Kate offers a re-enactment of the hope for a better outcome. “The symbols surrounding this wedding are so similar to Prince William’s parents wedding, that people easily draw comparisons. From Kate wearing Princess Dianna’s engagement ring, to the flowers, decorations, and wedding carriage, people are transported back to a time when hope reigned. After her divorce and tragic and untimely death of Princess Dianna, hopes for a happy ending were replaced with disappointment and horror. People now have a renewed sense of anticipation that this marital outcome will make up for those lost dreams,” Dr. Bonnie says adding that the comparisons between the two weddings might create anxiety.

“Everyone wants this marriage to be different than Prince William’s parent’s union. While there is excitement, there is also scrutiny over the details, like questioning Prince William’s decision not to wear a wedding ring. While it is true that married men not wearing a ring can be a red flag relating to commitment and fidelity—and both William’s parents allegedly had affairs, couples need to recognize the long standing tradition of England’s royal husbands not wearing rings.”

“The royal wedding will be rich with long standing historic rituals—all symbols of tradition. This wedding is a reenactment of the fairy tale couples want for their lives—that marriage is a celebration. Every couple following, anticipating and watching the wedding unfold has the same secret desire for Prince William and Kate that they do for their own relationships. And, that is to live happily ever after,” adds Dr.Bonnie.

Dr. Bonnie reveals her own true-life story about her dating, courtship and marriage to her husband in Make Up Don’t Break Up, reminding readers “Fairy tales may not come true, but the magic of true connection outshines even the best of fantasies.”

Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD relationship therapist and author of the NY Times Reader’s Choice award winner for best dating book 2010 Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD Falling in Love and Staying in Love is dedicated to teaching couples how to have sustainable, loving, and committed relationships. Her book teaches Smart Heart Skills, a blueprint for teaching couples how to connect intimately through dialogue and re-create the romance, magic and love of falling in love all over again.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples) and winner of the NY Times Reader’s Choice award for best dating book 2010, Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity (Making Money Sexy).

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Infidelity” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at www.DoctorBonnie.com.

For interview contact Diane Dennis, Inspired Media Communications at 503-678-1356.

Secrets to the Magic of Prince William and Kate

New York, NY…………….As the world goes gaga over the upcoming royal wedding for Prince William and Kate Middleton on April 29, 2011, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil is optimistic that their marriage is on the right track—and gives the young couple a thumbs up. “This couple has been together for several years, broken up at least once, and are clearly over the starry eyed phase of their relationship,” says Dr. Bonnie adding that breaking up jolts couples into appreciating each other more. “When couples are faced with losing each other through a break up, they realize how much that person means to them.”

In her book—the NY Times Reader’s Choice award winner for best dating book of 2010—Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD Falling in Love and Staying In Love, Dr. Bonnie refers to breaking up as a ‘brush with death.’ This ‘near death’ experience either makes couples closer, or signals the end. The fact that Prince William and Kate got back together after a separation is a testament to their commitment, and skills for weathering relationship storms. A break in a relationship offers a man the opportunity to “sow some oats” and finish his “single” cycle without feeling he is deprived of romantic experiences. In the case of this royal couple their brush with death resulted in a break up to make up.

“Since the couple has been together for eight years, they are clearly open eyed about each other. That honeymoon phase of new love where couples see each other through rose- colored lenses and are on a biochemical high is a dangerous time to make long- term commitments. It is only after the newness wears off, they can see each others perceived faults, and they learn how to communicate and connect, that couples can make wise choices about their future,” explains Dr. Bonnie.

Dr. Bonnie further approves of the couples decision to break with royal tradition and live without servants underfoot and surrounding them. “This couple shows good boundary setting within a family tradition steeped in privacy encroachment. They obviously understand the need for alone time, and know that privacy creates an environment where emotional intimacy can thrive.”

While everyone loves a fairy tale, no one likes one to end badly. With more than half of all marriages in the US ending in divorce, Dr. Bonnie advises couples to seek premarital counseling, and follow the guidelines for communicating through the Smart Heart Dialogue instructions in her book Make Up Don’t Break Up.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples) and winner of the NY Times Reader’s Choice award for best dating book 2010, Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity (Making Money Sexy).

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Infidelity” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at www.DoctorBonnie.com.

For interview contact Diane Dennis, Inspired Media Communication at 503-678-1356 or dianeden@centurytel.net

Does Chris Brown deserve a second chance?

After Chris Brown’s explosion on Good Morning America, many people were jumping to the conclusion that he would never change, that he hadn’t really learned anything from his past escapades. But an article on the Huffington Post made an interesting point, saying that although the assault on Rihanna was unforgivable and should have ended badly for him (as it did), there might be a little room for change yet:

“I’ve always felt that everyone — especially a young person — deserves a second chance. People make mistakes, especially teens — and Chris was just 19 at the time of the assault. He was a baby. It’s also a fact that when someone like Chris has grown up in a household witnessing domestic violence, they can learn terribly destructive behavior.”

I tend to agree with this line of thinking. It’s why I believe most relationships can be saved. It’s why I think that many of the problems we so easily judge or sweep under the rug – anger, shoplifting, infidelity – comes from the same place a addiction. And so – while we wouldn’t let, say, an alcoholic run amok in our life – we would tend to be more sensitive toward their weaknesses. I’m not suggesting Chris Brown or any of his predecessors or successors be given a pass, but rather that we should better understand what in part causes the problems they face. The problems of a Hollywood star may be larger than life but they aren’t necessarily that different from things everyone else faces.

To start with, it’s helpful to understand the need for risk, and the thrill that comes from this risk-seeking behavior, when looking at an addict. In this situation, Chris Brown is also a very powerful, influential figure and with more power comes more risk, and more time spent looking for that thrill-seeking high. When someone gets such highs in their normal, day-to-day life (ie, as a powerful music figure, getting endorsement deals etc.), it’s easy to up the ante when looking for the next thrill.

While it’s of course not excusable that Brown apparently might think of himself as “above the law,” he can still address, manage and yes – even change – this behavior he’s become addicted to. This narcissistic tendency causes people to go into a situation – whether that be with a girlfriend or on national television – thinking they’re above the law and that the rules don’t apply to them. For these types of people, the hardest thing for them is to apologize and take responsibility since for the first time they’re experiencing adverse consequences of their behavior, as we saw from Brown’s failed attempt at an apology.

Clearly he’s got a long way to go if he does want people to take him seriously, or think he’s changed at all, but I do think he can change, just like someone who struggles with any one of a number of types of addiction.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists. Her book, Make Up Don’t Break Up recently won the New York Times “Relationship Book of the Year” award.

Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity (Making Money Sexy).

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Infidelity” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at www.DoctorBonnie.com.

Women Attracted to Illusive Men Must Learn Smart Heart Skills in Order to Keep Them

After reading the theory cited in a recent study that women are more attracted to men who are uncertain about them  (http://www.upi.com/Health_News/2011/02/07/Woman-most-attracted-to-man-if-shes-unsure/UPI-68001297136087/, it hit home for me personally. When we were in the early stages of dating, my husband Jeff acted like the typical illusive guy afraid of commitment. If I hadn’t used the Smart Heart Skills I developed for communication, I probably would have pushed his buttons and scared him off.

The study states that women are attracted to illusive men because they grasp that men are more distant, and intuitively think they can somehow bridge the gap—or “fix him”. However, without knowing the communication skills provided in my Smart Heart Skills, a woman can turn an illusive man into a vanishing act real fast.

By nature women are the guardians of connection, so it is natural for us to think we can be the intimacy bridge to our distancing men. 80 percent of men are Distancers and 80 percent of women are Pursuers. And since we women are wired for emotional connections, we are more adept at developing emotional intimacy—but only if we learn the right tools because men react and process what we say completely differently than we would anticipate.

In Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD Falling in Love and Staying in Love—the NY Times about.com award winning best dating book of 2010, I explain how to keep an illusive man from vanishing by using communication skills that leads to intimate connections.

Smart Heart Skills are important for all women to understand and adopt because without the right tools we will inadvertently push men further away, ending relationships before they begin, and cause unnecessary power struggles.