Dr. Bonnie: The Highest Cheating Day for Women

Men Beware, Reports Dr. Bonnie: The Highest Cheating Day for Women, Reported by Ashley Madison Is February 15th, the Day After a Disappointing Valentine’s Day

Dr. Bonnie warns men that Ashley Madison’s, a married cheating website, statistics report that women’s highest enrollment to commit adultery is on February 15. This is due to being letdown by their husbands on Valentine’s Day with little romance magic.

Men should beware of the day after Valentine’s Day says relationship and adultery expert, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. Ashley Madison, a website designed for “discreet encounters” reports that February 15th sees the highest rate of enrollment for women. It’s the day after what’s often a disappointing Valentine’s Day. When their husbands let them down with little or no romance magic on what should be the most romantic day of the year, women turn elsewhere.

Dr. Bonnie cautions and advises men to remember and honor their wives on February 14th. Men need to be careful not to take their wives for granted, and make sure to show appreciation for them and what they do every day. Research from Dr. Bonnie’s, “Financial Infidelity” states that on average, women work an extra 36 hours a week beyond their career. Most women in Dr. Bonnie’s practice complain of being ignored by their husbands or not listened to. They are not being treated in a special way even on Valentine’s Day.

The Ashley Madison website brags of a population of nearly 40 million profiles of those seeking out extramarital affairs and their data shows that holidays like Valentine’s Day, when not celebrated, influence women to seek out adultery to combat feelings of emptiness. A woman may “act out” with cheating to boost her feelings after being unappreciated. She will over-correct with an affair the day after Valentine’s Day, so she can feel heard, and be “romanced.”

Dr. Bonnie adds that there is a domino effect for the children if their mother is forgotten on this holiday. The children could also take her for granted, disrespect her, or do that same behavior to their future partner when they marry. She advises that men invite children to partake in choosing Valentine’s Day gifts for their mother. This way they feel included in an activity that values their mother. This will be conveyed to her and make her feel loved on Valentine’s Day and beyond. This sentiment is priceless. Dr. Bonnie’s theory, the Biochemical Craving for Connection is paramount in understanding how to prevent adultery and is demonstrated in “Unfaithful“, an Oprah and Discovery Health documentary. As are her books, “Adultery: the Forgivable Sin” and “Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?”

Men should be careful to avoid the following behaviors or they may find their wives logging into Ashley Madison on February 15th. These are the warning signs: forgetting Valentine’s Day, no card, no present, no flowers, no chocolate, no restaurant reservation, no acknowledgment from children, no romance, no appreciation, no intimacy, or no acknowledgment of caretaking or “little” or special things she does. Don’t devalue her or make your wife feel unimportant.

Dr. Bonnie says that all of this can be reversed and you can prevent straying by putting your partner in the front of your mind. Use the SmartHeart skills, as outlined in her book, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up” and accompanying video “How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples” that she advises to patients on Valentine’s Day and every day.

She recommends some simple steps like:

  • A 30-second kiss that raises your “cuddle hormone,” oxytocin, (demonstrated in video). This bonds the partner and promotes feelings of safety and desire.
  • A 20-second hug releases dopamine, the “feel-good” hormone, that makes you feel happy and alive.
  • Think of your wife three times a day–positive thoughts at work. Statistics show that those who do this daily have less of a chance of divorce.
  • Take influence from your wife. Men who do this have happier marriages.
  • Take her out once a week–not just on Valentine’s Day.

To prevent adultery, fall back in love with your partner, and stay in love, do daily mini connections. Kiss goodbye in the morning and hello when you come home, snuggle before going to sleep and before getting out of bed in the morning (even if you go to bed or get up at different times), try to go to sleep at the same time, eat at the same time at least three times a week and on the weekends, go out once a week away from discussions of children, work, and problems. Make sure to talk to your partner for ten minutes a day–scheduling or carpooling does not count. No texting or calling your partner to discuss your day, you have to take the time to speak face to face. Hold hands when walking or when watching movies. Look into each other’s eye for 30 seconds daily. Say “I love you” often and with meaning and compliment each other daily. Again, face to face! These are verbal aphrodisiacs. Recreate the romance magic in your marriage. It will not come “naturally” after the first 18 months and the honeymoon stage are over. It needs to be recreated daily. These simple SmartHeart skills and dialogue will ensure Valentine’s Day every day.

For more info on smart heart skills, romance magic and preventing and treating and forgiving adultery, enroll in Dr. Bonnies online education to-go course, Marriage and Relationships: Keys to Success. Check out her book, winner of NYTimes Reader’s Choice Award, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples” for more warning signs and solutions to reach magic in marriage.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists and US Commerce association. Manhattan best therapist. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker.

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN.

Dr. Bonnie is available for relationship therapy via phone. Call 212-606-3787 for more details and to schedule an appointment with Dr. Bonnie.

Can a Pill Cure Adultery?

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, Best-selling author & Love and Relationship Therapist, thinks so – and in her psychotherapy practice, she’s seen a 98 percent success rate with couples traumatized by adultery.

Propelled by her own family’s legacy of addiction and adultery, Dr. Weil discovered a connection between an overabundance of sugar in the blood and risky, thrill-seeking behavior. With the help of an Internist MD, Dr. Weil developed her theory and has been treating adultery as a disease ever since.

Dr. Weil believes that an adulterer’s “biochemical craving for connection” is a disease, which can be addressed with a change in diet and medication. Monogamy is a conscious decision to be faithful and stay in love, and adulterers are often thrill-seekers, thriving on danger and risk-taking. The combination of eliminating sugar from the diet and balancing blood sugar and brain chemicals with two supplement — Lithium Orotate and Oxytocin—led patients to report feelings of greater clarity, focus, and good judgment, resulting in better choices, and re-bonding with a partner. The supplements help to control temptation and the compulsion to cheat when paired with a special, blood sugar balancing diet (which includes the elimination of alcohol) and frequent exercise to counteract stress, loss, and separation.

The combination replaces the feelings of elation that may come with adultery, recreating the same chemicals our bodies produce when we are truly happy or in love. A partner who has been betrayed and may suffer symptoms of PTSD can also benefit from these supplements, hastening forgiveness and understanding.

Dr. Weil is available to discuss her theory further and provide testimonials from patients who have benefitted from her treatment (names must be changed for publication).

Disclaimer: DO NOT try these supplements without a doctor’s supervision and full medical workup.

Here are some case examples that I talk about in my book “Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery” understanding our biochemical craving for connection.

One such example is Devon, people with blood sugar imbalances can become easily obsessed, developing addictive and self-destructive behavior in order to calm down and lower their anxiety. Some examples are sexual adultery, drug use, alcohol abuse and overeating to calm down reduce the anxiety.

“Thrill-seeking” behavior, like adultery, is increased by blood sugar imbalance, stress, and OCD. This is why we use pills to reduce the anxiety and create a calmness. Oxytocin is similar to the forbidden fruit orgasm, which you have during an affair.

It is important to note that risk-taking and “thrill-seeking” behavior heightened by Vasopressin is (a hormone) increased by hypoglycemia and stress. Vasopressin (hormone) that can seek out dangerous “thrill-seeking” behavior increased even more by those with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) which is what we see in most adulterers.

Our Oxytocin is inhibited by stress so the “thrill-seeker” (who already have a high level of Vasopressin to calm down and seek out …..

The foods we eat provides the building blocks for every hormone and chemical in our bodies. If we eat foods that are building blocks for chemicals that make us feel good, they act like natural painkillers (endorphins), dopamine (the molecule of joy), and serotonin for mood which causes depression when it is too low. When serotonin is normal, we will feel calm, content, and happy.

 

Having too much sugar can upset the brain chemical balance and result in out of control and self-destructive behavior. For example – Marty and Mara, Marty had several affairs, his daily diet consisted of alcohol, pasta, and bread which all turned into sugar. His adultery stopped when he followed the diet of no alcohol, no sugar, and a restricted diet with special emphasis on making sure he took the Lithium Orotate and Oxytocin pills. His adultery returned when he “forgot” to take his pills, and became “tired” and “bored” with the diet.

When questioned by me why he was sabotaging himself, he said the diet was “too boring,” and he wanted to get that “thrill-seeking,” danger, and risk-taking feeling back that he felt from committing adultery. Marty also got back his poor judgment, and lack of clarity when he sabotaged himself.   He then left his wife for 12 months to go on a sexual spree. At the same time, this sabotage was contagious and his wife Mara stopped taking her Oxytocin, and her PTSD came back.

He went on to say, “it’s difficult to stop the adultery, it feels too good. I’m having so much fun without the pills. I like having no clarity”. He relied on the part of the brain that is reward driven and addictive.

It was a long way back – he craved what he was allergic to, the sugar and the sugar took the place of the pills. He got a high, then a low so he would commit adultery for the “thrill-seeking” drug, induced high, as he explained it, to counteract the low. The Oxytocin pill he was taking before helped his OCD as well so he could control his compulsions.

One week before his wife presented him with divorce papers, Marty, who loved to live on the edge, agreed to take the pills again, stop eating sugar, and drinking alcohol. I am happy to say that they are still together and very happy. The betrayed (Mara) still takes the Oxytocin also, as she continues to have PTSD which Oxytocin is very helpful for as well.

Today he has a very strict diet, exercises regularly, takes his pills daily without missing, and has been faithful for the past 2 ½ years, no temptations to act out. What happened in this couple’s case is his brain chemicals were balanced for more clarity after the blood sugar was balanced with the help of the pills he takes daily.

Another one of my patients, Chloe, had low serotonin, low dopamine, she felt no joy, and no sense of aliveness. When given supplements to reduce her stress and feelings of depression, she began to get her feelings back for her partner again and stopped the adultery.

Another example is Joel who knew (for years) he craved and was allergic to sugar and understood the protocol, but consciously sabotaged himself. He went on a 3-week ice cream binge and refused to take the Lithium Orotate and Oxytocin. Joel was “testing” me, and the doctor working with him. He did not believe that his unbalanced chemistry and stopping the pills that had helped him with clarity, judgment, calmness, and contentment, caused him feelings of depression, pessimism, and lack of passion for Susie.

 

When Joel could not get the “high,” he needed from the food he turned to sex with other women for self-medication. He began performing poorly at work and reached such a low point that he ended up separated, then begging Susie to take him back after a six-month stint of “living with a girlfriend,” and being a free spirit.

Today Joel and Susie are healing and working together on their marriage. Joel tried no more stints with me and the doctors and is dedicated to not self-medicating, and not using adultery as a wedge. He feels stable and content with the pills and his balanced blood sugar, giving him more clarity and better judgment, he also exercises every day which when done together prevents acting out – adultery.

The change in the diet and the pills, my patients say, takes away cravings for alcohol (which lowers inhibitions) so there is less chance of being tempted to cheat. I’ve seen this in my practice and also documented this in my book, Can We Cure And Forgive Adultery.

Without balancing brain chemistry, sugar imbalances, and diet change, adultery will resurface no matter how much psychotherapy you have and rear its ugly head again. Patients came back 2 years later with recurring adultery caused by stopping the pills, not following the diet, not eliminating sugar and alcohol, and not exercising regularly.

My father, who is my inspiration for doing this work, unsuccessfully only had psychotherapy (4 times a week for 8 years), struggling for 25 years and not being able to stop cheating. He told his doctor’s it appeared to be something he could not control and manage even with Psychotherapy. My Father explained regularly his OCD symptoms (the compulsion to cheat) to no avail and said the symptoms became more pronounced with sugar (he had a daily candy draw) and when he did not eat for long periods of time (hypoglycemia low blood sugar) and was overly stressed. 25 years later he received the proper help from my Mentor, Dr. Fogarty, followed his protocol and completely stopped cheating on my mother for the next 25 years!

My dream and my father’s, who left this legacy, is seeing these questions with answers. Our dream is seeing these neurological and biochemical indicators also used, as psychotherapy progresses, so patients have objective measures of progress they are making, as these pills correct their neurotransmitter imbalances with the added talk therapy to rewire the brain. By balancing brain chemicals (neurotransmitters), adultery can be cured, controlling sugar imbalances, changing the diet, and adding exercise to do so. Per my father’s discovery, guidance, and painful journey (with my mother) and the successful implementation of my father and with patients over the years, I developed my theory The Biochemical Craving For Connection which has proven then and only then is the time to use psychotherapy to deal with the stress, loss, and separation to complete the treatment of the “disease” of adultery when the biochemical factors are also dealt with.

There is a physical basis for our cravings, whether we crave alcohol, drugs, food, or a new lover. We are attempting to recreate the emotional contentedness and connectedness we’ve lost. This is our “biochemical craving for connection.” We fill our emotional emptiness with lovers, booze or drugs because doing so causes our bodies to create the same chemicals we make when we are truly happy or in love. Lithium Orotate and Oxytocin brings the mind and body with the other protocol mentioned, to that safe, calm place. The change in diet, the balance of blood sugar, and the exercise which raises the dopamine (the molecules of joy), that brings people to that safe, calm place. This minimizes destructive, addictive, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) behavior as it calms and quiets the mind.

Our neurotransmitters are hereditary, passed down from generation to generation (thus the “disease” of adultery as we see in the Kennedy Family, and in the Royal Family).   The good news is, despite their neurotransmitters being passed down from generation to generation, they can be changed, as the brain is plastic, and these pills start the new behavior, giving people choices and ways to alleviate the pain and to save their families and jobs from the trauma of the “disease” of adultery!

It’s time we see this “disease” as curable! Another benefit of the pills is it helps with getting the feeling back for you and your partner after adultery for both the adulterer and the betrayed!!!

Monogamy is a CONSCIOUS decision to stay faithful and to stay in love. However, without the pills, there is no clarity and judgment to make that monogamous choice. For saboteurs who are compelled to act out and hurt their families, there is no choice. These pills create a new choice to counteract compulsion or OCD.

For people who can’t stop cheating or feel they’re out of love with their partner this biochemical craving for connection treatment works!

Disclaimer: DO NOT try these supplements without a doctor’s supervision and full medical workup

Adultery is a treatable, curable, and a forgivable sin! Take a Sneak Peek into my best-selling Adultery book –
FREE!

 I am here to support you with any questions you may have about adultery.  Please do not hesitate to call me directly at 212-606-3787 with your relationship questions.

Here is to finding and keeping real love!

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D. – Love and Relationship Therapist
Best-selling author of:

Adultery: The Forgivable Sin
Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery
Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples 
Financial Infidelity; The #1 Relationship Wrecker

The REAL truth behind the Bill Cosby trial

A predator or someone suffering from biochemical cravings?  

Bill Cosby is a perfect example of my groundbreaking adultery theory.  The trial is finally here and from what I know from treating patients over the years.  The acts that he’s been accused of committing was something he was not completely in control of.

Although I’m not excusing his behavior, it is a disease and needs to be recognized and treated as such.

The biochemical craving for connection and adultery should be seen and treated as a disease. Because this is a thrill seeking behavior it is more prevalent among politicians, celebrities, sports figures, and others in high-profile positions. This “disease” is often caused by stress, loss, separation and as a result self-medicating (adultery) calms this down. calm the brain chemicals down.

Is this disease curable?

Yes, this “disease” is curable and treatable as a physiological disease, not, however, by only talking to a therapist about it.   For the past 10 years, I’ve worked with patients and have achieved 98% success rate.  Here is one of the technique in the system that I used along with others to cure them of this disease.


One of the techniques I used on some patients is balancing their blood sugar with diet. Eliminating sugar, including alcohol, then affects one’s ability to empathize, have good judgment,  and clarity despite the high stress.   Remember,  monogamy is a conscious decision to stay faithful and that requires balanced brain chemicals to achieve this!).

Patients I treat are often seeking to duplicate the euphoria feelings of falling in love.  They are trying to recreate their feelings with adulterous affairs or risk taking like gambling or financial infidelity.

Find out more

In my book Adultery: The Forgivable Sin  I wrote about this in depth. 

If you’d like to learn more about my groundbreaking discovery that produces a 98% success rate? Watch my “Unfaithful” documentary by Discovery Health.

As I write this article there is a story today in USA Today that talks about the Lopez Brothers sexual abuse cases.  High profile individuals whether they are athletes, celebrities, heads of organizations, etc. are all affected by this “disease” and appears to be an epidemic.  I believe it’s time we start to treat this biochemical craving for connection as I have been doing in my practice.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D.

If you or someone you know is suffering because of adultery behavior I have a 98% success rate, and I do all my work on the phone. Click here to contact me today for a complimentary consultation.