No better aphrodisiac than helping a woman around the house
There is no better aphrodisiac than helping a woman around the house. Women work 36 hours inside the house in addition to their careers. According to a 2015 report done by the University of Alberta. Couples who share household work fairly equally report having more frequent and more satisfying sex. That means that if men want to have more sex, they need to help out, so the woman doesn’t burn out.
Never underestimate the power of love and never take it for granted!
“I will connect with you, detach myself from my own thoughts and intentions so I can hear you and walk in your shoes”
This is an example of a SmartHeart Vow from real-life couples. They are demonstrating fighting fair as seen in free bonus video that comes with purchase of Dr. Bonnie’s book, Make Up, Don’t Break Up
Spring has sprung!
Spring has sprung! Winter doldrums will lift soon when we see warmer and more consistent weather.
Today is the first day of spring. For some, winter doldrums may remind you of your moody partner. For you to share: what to do with a moody partner who sometimes drains us. Check out and share Dr. Bonnie’s, author of Make Up, Don’t Break Up, video on your moody partner . Do not enable this damaging behavior which wrecks emotional intimacy. Instead, learn from this video and watch passions soar!
Even When Sleeping Separately, You’re Not Just Roommates
The National Sleep Foundation found that 1 in 4 married couples sleep in separate bedrooms! The National Association of Homebuilders predicted this years ago and started building dual master bedrooms as the new norm for custom houses. Different sleep schedules, snoring, and restless leg syndrome make it hard to sleep together, so people sleep separately instead. Couples can feel shame and worry about what sleeping in separate bedrooms means, but it’s becoming less of an indicator of fear of intimacy to those who opt for this arrangement to prevent fights or distance.
Even though it’s becoming more acceptable, you’re missing out on some of the most important bedtime rituals. Couples kiss and cuddle and have romantic and significant pillow talk before bed, especially when they go to bed at the same time. Some say you can still do that, and then go to separate bedrooms for sleeping. Some compensate by eating dinner together and spending more time together during waking hours. What happens outside the bedroom sets up what happens inside the bedroom. Set up romance magic. The cuddle hormone, Oxytocin, is activated by cuddling and sex and is needed even if you are in separate bedrooms. Many of my patients feel rejected when their partner retreats to different bedrooms. They feel like roommates, if they are not practicing romance magic in addition. “Not just roommates” has to be reinforced to restore and maintain sizzle-including goodnight and pillow talk rituals! This is essential connecting time. to be put in place even stronger with emotional and physical intimacy a real priority to negate the fallout of sleeping in separate bedrooms. In cases of snoring and separate bedrooms, these tips can save a marriage.
Join my Education2Go course for more tips on romance magic http://www.ed2go.com/
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/03/30/why-so-many-married-couples-sleeping-separate-beds/99818086/
Is your partner narcissistic?
These are the questions to ask:
- Does he disconnect and expect to pick up and reconnect where he left off with no explanation?
- Does he talk the talk , but not walk the walk?
- Does he show no empathy if he hurts you?
- Does he accuse you of overreacting rather than take accountability for his actions?
- Does he blame you for wanting too much when he disappoints you?
- Does he project his shortcomings onto you?
- Is he allergic to your emotions and discussions?
If you answered yes to these questions, it’s time to learn what to do with and how to handle a narcissistic partner.
Many that are narcissistic are actually connectable by instruction with learned “Smart Heart Skills.”
Watch and share Dr. Bonnie’s video on narcissistic partners:
For more tips check out my online education2go course. Why not invite your partner to join you? https://www.ed2go.com/online-cou…/marriage-and-relationships
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“I will connect with you, detach myself from my own thoughts and intentions so I can hear you and walk in your shoes”
This is an example of a SmartHeart Vow from real-life couples. They are demonstrating fighting fair as seen in free bonus video that comes with purchase of Dr. Bonnie’s book, Make Up, Don’t Break Up: https://www.amazon.com/Make-Up-Dont-Break-Fin…/…/ref=sr_1_2…
Never underestimate the power of love and never take it for granted!
“Forgetting” Valentine’s Day is No Coincidence says Dr. Bonnie
(PRWEB)February 08, 2017
Warning to men: “Forgetting Valentine’s Day is not coincidental” says relationship therapist and adultery expert, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. “It’s an unconscious, destructive, grudge holding, romance wrecker.” Make Valentine’s Day sizzle instead!
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD warns couples about how Valentine’s Day can be destructive and can even lead to divorce. It does not have to be, consider Valentine’s day a litmus test for taking the temperature of a marriage or relationship. Wives or girlfriends expect romance magic and sizzle on the most romantic day of the year. Instead, they are extremely disappointed if their husbands or boyfriends “forget” this romantic holiday.
Forgetting Valentine’s Day is “accidentally” on purpose to create drama, a fight, even a breakup, temporary as it may be. It’s a wake-up call, and a cry for help. His behavior is a symptom of unresolved relationship debris. Dr. Bonnie calls it “revenge forgetting” to her patients. The “forgetful” partner may have some resentment or hold a grudge with anger. Maybe he feels taken for granted or hates feeling nagged (brought on by stonewalling or not listening) or demanded upon. He may harbor negative feelings subconsciously, so he redirects this by disappointing her. He displaces his own quiet rage by getting his wife angry.
Some excuses women should never accept are: it’s only a retail holiday, it’s too commercial, every day is Valentine’s Day, restaurants are crowded and too expensive, or florists rip you off. These excuses cause disappointing feelings and are real “romance wreckers.” They set the stage for distance, detachment, and possibly divorce.
Dr. Bonnie teaches SmartHeart skills, as emphasized in Make Up, Don’t Break Up, to help identify a grudge and prevent build up of resentments. Learning how to “fight fair” can increase passion by clearing the air. These “skills” especially help men learn to communicate by appointment instead of walking out of the room during discussions. “Fair fighting” teaches empathy and affection and this increases passion when the offending partner has a time limit for fighting and has permission do so, in short intervals. Examples, performed by real, live couples, can be found in Make Up, Don’t Break Up’s accompanying video, “How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples.” Men need many “time outs.” They are allergic to women’s emotionality. With “fair fighting,” men can air their resentments instead of storing them and the conflict works as an aphrodisiac for eventual passion. The power is in getting heard, not getting mad. Letting go of grudges is not about being right or fair, it’s about what works.
If a partner is missing out on Valentine’s day, he is missing out on one of the most romantic days and moments for potential intimacy. Forgetting the holiday is often a recurring pattern, so Dr. Bonnie suggests combating that by encouraging wives and girlfriends to take the initiative. Remind him about the Valentine’s Day, go shopping with him for it, and get him excited about the celebration. To seize the moment, use Dr. Bonnie’s SmartHeart tips from her book “Make Up, Don’t Break Up” and accompanying video “How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples.” Since Valentine’s Day can be used to measure the temperature of a relationship, more often than not, men forgetting Valentine’s Day is a sign of something more. These warning signs can be signs of adultery or the ripening of a relationship for an affair, so heed the warning. Men are not in touch with their feelings and typically hold in these feelings. Men need to be guided as they don’t always know how to feel or what they feel. Most men are “connectable by instruction.” To quote Dr. Jeff Weil, Dr. Bonnie’s husband, “If I knew what I felt, I would tell you, so I welcome your help.” SmartHeart dialogue was born by dialoguing to help Jeff understand what he was feeling and be able to express it. SmartHeart dialogue helps them dig deep with small doses of communication and results in an endorphin high with “play” after the talks.
Kissing is a “Smart Heart” opportunity that emits Oxytocin and releases “feel good” hormones that bond you to your partner and create a feeling of safety. This negates the bad feelings a partner might harbor. If issues remain unresolved, they are a wake up call and a cry for help, so Dr. Bonnie recommends counseling. Romance should be number one priority on your list and it is the first to go when relationship troubles are brewing.
Beyond forgetting Valentine’s year after year, some other signs that he may be secretly harboring a grudge include,: excusing his behavior, minimizing the holiday, putting down his partner for wanting to celebrate, makes fun of the holiday, acting like a Scrooge, pushing partner away, turned off when affection is initiated by the other, leaves early in the day, comes home late, is argumentative, is not talkative around you but is with others, little or no intimacy with partner, “too tired” or uses work to distance themselves, shuts down when approached, stonewalls with silence, denies anything is wrong, does not want to discuss the grudge, or gets moody when asked about it.
To grudge bust,: do not say yes when mean no, watch out for delayed reactions that cause resentment later, stand your ground, don’t cave even if it’s easier, “act as if” even if you don’t “feel” the good feelings, do not do “peace at any price” it leads to war, write letter representing partner’s apology for hurt caused and show your partner the feelings.
For more information on “fighting fair” to fight grudges and SmartHeart skills, enroll in Dr. Bonnies online education to-go course, Marriage and Relationships: Keys to Success. Check out her book, winner of NYTimes Reader’s Choice Award, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples” for more warning signs and solutions to reach magic in marriage.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists and US Commerce association. Manhattan best therapist. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin(adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker.
Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.
What’s the Secret to a Good Marriage? Look to Superbowl 51 for Answers
What’s the Secret to a Good Marriage? Look to Superbowl 51 for Answers
Finding the secrets to a good marriage are closer than one might think, just look at the TV screen! Bill Belichick and Tom Brady work together to form an explosive team and their football “marriage” is one to emulate in personal marital relationships.
February 02, 2017
The secrets to a good marriage are right on the TV screen. Just ask Bill Belichick and Tom Brady! They definitely have one, says football therapist, relationship therapist and author of “Make Up, Don’t Break Up,” Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. Brady has been quoted as giving his coach, Belichick, the control, instead of working against him. This is similar to a functional marriage–you’re on the same team. Dr. Bonnie says it’s the combination of the two together, an “opposites match made in heaven.” Like the couples she sees in her practice, they share control and don’t compete against one another. They complement each other’s strengths, and feed off each other in a good way.
Talking heads, players, and fans on programs like ESPN’s “First Take” and all over the internet and TV debate endlessly over who’s responsible. Who gets the credit? Is it Tom? Is it Belichick? Can one win without the other? As they go to their 7th Superbowl this upcoming Sunday, the magic in their marriage is evident. Will their chemistry and hard work pay off in a victory and a 5th Superbowl title together?
Dr. Bonnie and her husband met Tom Brady in an elevator the day before his first Superbowl against the Rams. In talking to him and hearing his nerves, she used her “SmartHeart” skills, honing in on positive affirmations, to encourage a win (he won!) Dr. Bonnie adds, “in a good marriage, each partner listens to the other which brings validation and respect.” Brady is quoted as saying he listens to Belichick and Belichick respects and listens to Brady. No love can exist with couples if respect is missing. Dr. Bonnie says their winning “opposites” combination is easy to understand. Bill Belichick’s better half is Tom Brady and vice versa. Defensive minded Belichick and offensive guru, Brady, show how opposites attract just like in a marriage, and just like in a marriage, over time, they become more alike than different in how they approach things. They mirror each other. In a marriage, the “hard knocks” make the couple stronger. The same is true for Belichick and Brady, both of whom had to overcome bumps and crashes at the start of their respective careers. Belichick was fired in the beginning of his career and experienced a resurgence as head coach of the Patriots. It was largely Belichick’s trust in a sixth-round draft pick out of Michigan that elevated Brady to his hall of famer status today. This is the best type of “marriage” according to Dr. Bonnie. They keep learning and growing from each other, creating positive vibes that translate to reaching a potential 5th Superbowl win in Superbowl 51! Brady’s secret is not resisting Belichick’s demands, but conforming to them. Just like in a marriage, they have gotten past the “Power Struggle” stage and are in the “Real Life Love” stage that is based on respect and validating one another. It is what is essential in a marriage–letting each other do their own thing without encumberments.
Just like the twosome in a couple, the connection and the relationship between quarterback and coach is the difference between winning or losing a Superbowl, as it filters down to the whole football team. So to answer commentators, players, and fans whether it is Belichick or Brady who wins Superbowls, it’s the marriage between the two of them! It’s the combination as a pair recommitting to each other every game as you do with your partner every day in a marriage.
For more information on reaching real life love and opposites in marriage, enroll in Dr. Bonnies online education to-go course, Marriage and Relationships: Keys to Success. Check out her book, winner of NY Times Reader’s Choice Award, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples” for more and SmartHeart Skills and magic in marriage.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists and US Commerce association. Manhattan best therapist. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker.
Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN.
Football Playoffs are a Great Time To Score!
This Sunday is one of the best sports days of the year! But, how do you participate in football playoffs when it’s just not your thing? If you can’t beat em join them! A savvy woman knows how much football means to her guy whether married or single. I encourage partners to touchdown during the football playoffs. A nice pillow fight and some tackling after the second quarter is high energy play and will bring endorphins to a full-time high. Adding in a 30 second kiss will also bring on a different rush from oxytocin, the cuddle hormone.
Being intimate during football halftime is a healthy way to connect with your sports lover. The Cleveland Clinic believes a healthy sexual relationship can positively affect all aspects of life. Many women and even men feel neglected when their partner is glued to the television and shows more devotion for Tom Brady than they do to them. However, do not get mad when your partner is engrossed with the game. They will love and appreciate you more by supporting their passion. Here are some of my smart heart tips that will help you get the pom-poms out for the first time in years this playoff season.
Be supportive and stay on the sidelines when the game is in motion. As my husband Jeff says, “A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and football.” Partners should try out some new recipes that will leave their lover’s mouth watering for more than just the seven-layer dip. Coming home with some hot chocolate, which contains PEA–an upper, and some fluffy marshmallows are great aphrodisiacs for touching down.
To really impress your partner, husband or boyfriend, do a little research. Start reading newspapers, Sports Illustrated, playoff feed on Twitter or even download the NFL app to learn more about stats, players and predictions for the next Vince Lombardi Trophy winner. Learning about the game will make him adore you more than enough to remember this year’s Valentine’s day. Sharing football without complaining, that’s a lifetime achievement award.
Remember, football time is no time for talking, especially about serious subjects. Don’t discuss any heavy topics that might instigate an argument that would ruin any chance of a halftime show. Also, competing with the announcer is another football faux pas. Besides all the chanting and swearing, notice that men are usually pretty quiet when a big play is under review. Let there only be one announcer.
For more Smart Heart Tips and Tricks, read “Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples.”
United We Stand
Wishing President Donald Trump luck! Yesterday’s inauguration marked a new beginning–a changing of the guards. Some were excited for the inauguration and others were, and are, nervous. Change is hard for people and the same is true in marriage. Some are better at risk taking than others so this change can cause anxiety and people may be on edge or moody with partners. Use the three P’s: prepare, predict, and prevent.
We need to unite through kindness and empathy to make America great. We need to come together not only as a country, but in our relationships as well. Now is the time to connect and communicate with your partner. Now more than ever, let’s Make Up, Don’t Break Up.
For more on connecting with your partner, join my online course: Marriage and Relationships: The Keys to Success
When the Chill Sets In, Turn Up the Heat
As another cold front passes through the Northeast, couples should use it as an excuse to make some long-lasting winter memories. Not being able to get to scheduled appointments – like work, school, meetings, etc – can be stressful. Instead of getting stressed, use the mandatory down-time to rekindle a spark with their significant other. It can be important to refocus this downtime and feel like it’s being put to good use. Here are a few of the things I recommend to have a winter affair with your own partner:
Mix up a hot drink and then cozy up with each other. Whether it’s hot chocolate or hot toddy, getting warm together doesn’t HAVE to involve sex! Start out with something simple like a drink to warm up and snuggle up together by reading a book, playing a game, or beginning a project.
Let it lead to sex. Studies show that during big storms people usually make love, make babies or fight. Starting by reconnecting with something simple (a book, a game, etc.), can lead to a more intimate conclusion. Make the most of your time indoors, since there’s nowhere else to go, even if you wanted to. Instead of letting obligations cause stress, let go of responsibilities by having an affair with your own partner. I mention this technique in my book, Make up Don’t Break up, where I give couples tools for rekindling romance.
Get outside. That’s right ~ it may be cold but when people don’t have anywhere to be, why not relive the excitement that snow days brought as a kid? These types of opportunities often bring out our inner child, so go with it, get playful and see where it leads. Couples may learn something new about each other, discover something new they can do together (who doesn’t love making snowmen?), and if nothing else, have a good time goofing around together. Recreate the chemicals you experienced when you first fell in love. Take this opportunity to give a 30 second kiss and/or 20 second hug to reconnect and fall back in love.