New York, NY………………….Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD warns couples that holiday splurges and lying to each other about spending go hand in hand. “Our weakened economy, the holiday season, and stress creates a perfect storm for partners to lie to each about money,” explains Dr. Bonnie, author of Financial Infidelity. With added holiday stress, and pressures to satisfy their children’s Santa wish list, a mom or dad can easily be tempted to slip a few extra presents under the tree, hide the receipts, and hope the clandestine spending flies under the radar.
“Breaking trust, and disregarding financial agreements happen all the time with couples. In fact, a 2010 study by CESI Debt Solutions shows that 80 percent of all married couples hide purchases from their mates (http://www.cesidebtsolutions.org/news_press)”, says Dr. Weil.
People lie to each other for a variety of reasons. Whether trying to avoid conflict, blame or shame, lying about purchases will cause relationship issues to escalate. Maybe a couple has made a pact not to use credit card debt to augment a financially strained holiday gift list, but half way through the purchases money runs thin, and one of the partners strays from the plan. “This is a time when rationalizing about spending is at an all time high. A partner may deceive himself by thinking that Christmas comes only once a year and they can balance the budget or make amends for their deceptions after the festivities, not realizing that lying about money has a steep emotional price tag.”
Dr. Bonnie explains that trust is key. “If you lie to your partner about spending, trust is violated, and a couple begins to become suspicious about what other indiscretions are going on. In fact, cheating with the bank account can lead to other types of deception.”
Dr. Bonnie advises couples to honor agreements, just say no to spending that is beyond the household budget, and learn each other’s familial spending habits. The book Financial Infidelity offers ways to make discussions about money sexy, have frank financial discussions without discourse, and get on the same financial page during the holidays and afterwards.
