Sex has no calories, but sugar brings out cheating.
Most affairs start at holiday parties so BEWARE!
Tips on how to hold that line. How not to be tempted. If you or your partner is tempted
Check out my cheating predictor cheat sheet to see if you or your partner is ripe for an affair and temptation.
Want to have an affair with your OWN partner? Start by bringing him or her to that office party!!
Adulterers and sexual harassers like Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, among others are people who act out through sexual deviation.
It’s important to note that they are even more triggered under the influence of alcohol. The reason being is that alcohol and other food or drinks high in sugar and addiction of all kinds, especially adultery are related!
Let me explain, stress, loss, or separation (we see this with politicians, Hollywood figures, corporate executives, etc.) creates a “fight or flight” behavioral reaction and most people turn to sugar or alcohol as they thrill seek to calm them and their anxiety down.
They then self-medicate from thrill-seeking and dangerous behavior which temporarily relives their stress and blood sugar fluctuation from the stress to create a “high.”
This causes “acting” out behavior or poor impulse control and a form of the obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) which Dr. Bonnie believes can be treated, controlled and even cured with a special diet free of sugar; taking supplements to create clarity and good judgment to minimize the OCD and control impulses; and special exercise to create the “high” from the endorphin rush.
The high from the endorphin rush is a similar rush the sexual harasser experiences with thrill-seeking and dangerous behavior. My opinion is treatment centers alone do not suffice, as the diet change, exercise and supplements are not part of the treatment. If people take the supplements described and stick to the special low sugar diet and psychotherapy if followed, they can be treated and even cured.
To avoid seasons cheating, it’s important to keep this in mind that during this season, starting now until after the New Year. There are high expectations for fun combined with job and family stress which leads to high emotions and correspondingly low inhibitions.
If you are a partygoer, you may be just as tempted to indulge in extramarital sex, as you are to pig out on fattening food.
It’s important to realize that “emptiness” is at its peak during the holidays. Why? Nostalgia and yearning from warm memories from the innocence of childhood make us vulnerable to temptation.
Remember, monogamy is a conscious choice, and you cannot make that choice when vulnerable.
People are looking to reclaim a lost utopia during the holidays for unmet needs and frustrations and hurt from either their childhood or being in or out of a relationship.
Adultery becomes a natural painkiller during times of stress and blood fluctuations from stress helps to create a thrill-seeking “cocktail.” Adding sugar or alcohol fuels the “thrill seeking” behavior where there is no clarity of judgment to hold that line (where monogamy and “proper” behavior would be a choice.)
A lot of the sexual harassers in the news over the past two months are examples of this.
It’s time we stop shaming and blaming as we did with alcoholism and not only treat this as a disease but see as it a disease. The OCD, the lack of clarity, and judgment, along with poor impulse control can be changed with the protocol I outlined.
We are now seeing a shift where women are speaking out because they realize that by doing so, they are no longer enabling the behavior. This, however, is not enough. This behavior needs to be seen as a disease that needs treatment rather than shame and judgment, or it will rear its ugly head over and over again.
If we want the harassment to stop, we need to TREAT the problem and not judge those who have the problem.
We are now seeing a flood of people who have experienced harassment, both men, and women. This is a wake-up call for all of us.
Doesn’t this tell us something if so many people in our society are experiencing this type of treatment and staying quiet about it? It’s important not to make light of the situation at hand, but this disease is just as prevalent, in my opinion, its a HEALTH issue like alcoholism, obesity, and diabetes. It’s good that this disease is finally getting the attention that it needs, although in a negative light. We still don’t have the UNDERSTANDING that this is a disease that I call the biochemical craving for connection.
Its time we stop blaming and shaming and get these thrill seekers the help they need instead of firing them.
As we are now seeing this is an epidemic. And just like obesity, diabetes and alcohol go together, adultery/sexual harassment and sugar also go together.
So many innocent men and women are affected by harassment, and since there is NO recourse in place when they do speak out its time we do something about this!
We need to TREAT this problem and not just JUDGE those with the problem.
From my practice and from my experience from childhood with my father who was an adulterer and cured his problem. With his help, I found that there is a link between, sugar, diet, stress and adultery/harassment. It is hard for all of us to see because adultery/sexual harassment is so hurtful to so many people. We are so turned off and put off by this behavior that it is hard to see as a DISEASE.
This is a societal EPIDEMIC that needs to stop NOW!
Step 1 is to speak out.
Step 2 is to STOP IT!
Step 3 is to treat it and not judge it.
Firing people is just putting a band-aid over the cut with cleaning it out.
Again, I refer to this disease as the biochemical craving for connection.
The time is NOW to fix this, my father did and so can any adulterer/sexual harasser who follows the protocol I referred to earlier.
We want to help you prevent cheating in your relationship this holiday season, get our FREE online resource!
Here is to finding and keeping real love!
Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert known as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists. US Commerce Association voted Dr. Bonnie Best Therapist 2011-2017.
Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples, Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity; The #1 Relationship Wrecker.
