So, why should women make the first move? Because as my husband of 27 years says, “woman is the guardian of connection. This is how I developed my SmartHeart skills for women and men–with the help of my husband ‘s male advice. Men are connectable by instruction, but need guidelines of GENTLE reliance. This is similar to what Grandma taught me, “let Grandpa think it’s HIS idea.” This is especially helpful for men who are commitment phobic, these skills work and they are tried and true from my courtship with my husband Dr. Jeff. “I did it so can you” is the last chapter in my book, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up.”

The new dating app Bumble was created on the premise of women making the first move and it exemplifies what I’ve been saying for years. Dating skills work best when women make the first move. Testimonials from both my male and female patients using Bumble prove it! Men are more sensitive to rejection than women and have more sensitive egos so they are flattered to be picked by a woman. As women, we do not have to wait for the man to call, see us ,or pursue, since they are likely to procrastinate and feel more comfortable with disconnecting than connecting. My single patients, both female and male, are meeting quality dates through this app without wasting time on incompatible dates. Many singles stop relationships before they start as they are not desensitizing themselves to rejection,  the m.o. and yet, kiss of death of dating . Remember when you get frustrated my mother’s  advice,”it only takes one.”  It may take 76 coffee dates, but take dating seriously, have a sense of humor and remember “it only takes one.” Don’t give up!  It’s right around the corner!