The 4th of July should be a time for family, food, and good friends. But wives might find their partner distracted if he’s engaged in or contemplating an affair. Look at the cheater that is trying to pull one over on all parties involved: “The guy who takes his wedding ring off and goes ‘on the hunt’ is especially troublesome, like the “indie cheater;” that’s one of the most sneaky and narcissistic things he could do because he is lying to not only his wife but his potential mistress.” Fortunately, since the summer months have arrived, a ring-finger suntan will be a tell-tale sign that this type of cheater should be wearing a wedding ring.
Aside from sneaking around during time that should be spent with family, “indie cheaters” are a particularly troubling kind of narcissist because they’re out to hurt so many people. It’s imperative that people know when they’re dealing with a narcissist, and how to handle the situation.
Narcissism is a type of bullying, and leaves everyone betrayed. Usually someone who engages in this type of behavior devalues others and may even be trying to hurt their partner. “It’s a drastic form of bullying,” she says.
To nip narcissism in the bud, look out for these warning signs this holiday – or any time:
Do they turn the activities or conversations back to themselves?
Do they feel entitled?
Do they shut down and ignore other people?
This behavior comes from the Biochemical Craving for Connection, which I discuss in my book “Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery.” It pushes people toward a thrill-seeking high to make up for stress, loss, and separation they feel in their lives. Partners dealing with a narcissist should engage in my Smart Heart Skills and Dialogue – “Learn the right questions to ask so this person begins to tell the truth, and begins to see their behavior for what it is.”
And as for the potential mistress, take a look at his ring finger. If there’s a suntan line, chances are he’s married and trying to pull the wool over the eyes of both his wife AND you by lying and saying he’s unmarried.
For more tips from on how to handle a narcissist, click here: , or check out my book “Make Up Don’t Break Up.”

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