Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. stated,

“This is among the most helpful, complete, and positive manual for saving a relationship that I have seen. Dr Eaker Weil has presented her effective process with such straightforward and simple language, extensive details, and enthusiasm that all singles and couples who read the book cannot help but be inspired to “make up.”

The 2nd edition of “Make Up Don’t Break Up” is on sale now at Amazon.com

Kindle Version also available!

Here are Dr Bonnie’s tried and true tips that she and her husband do during these challenging times:

Here are some practical tips from Dr Bonnie, therapist and author of Financial Infidelity, to get back to the best you can be in the almost “new” normal” EVEN with this pandemic and still soothe your soul!

According to the research from the American Psychiatric Association: 68% of people worry about the long term economic effects from the pandemic. 38% experience depression or anxiety from the pandemic. Ongoing stress leads to a fight or flight response with symptoms like shortness of breath, chest pains, heart palpitations, poor sleep, irritability, weight gain and persistent obsessive ruminating thoughts.

#1. Eat healthy, but beware as in stressful times the brain‘s reward system seeks out sweet fatty foods because it APPEARS to relieve anxiety but is only an ADDICTIVE “quick fix”!
#2. Exercise to release “feel good” endorphins to negate negative thoughts, depression, and anxiety.
#3. Make friends daily with NATURE, even 20 minutes outside reduces levels of our stress hormones, especially if you add in exercise with nature, like a walk, swimming or biking. Are you stuck indoors? Sit near a sunny window or look at nature as pictures of trees or sunsets will raise endorphins as well.
#4. Be in the moment, don’t project too much ahead and do grateful exercises twice a day when first awake and before bed.
#5. Think of a fantasy to keep you hopeful and grounded, like a future vacation or future special birthday plan as you would like it, to have something to look forward to!!
#6. Practice Daily Breathing exercises deeply and slowly: breathe through your nose to a count of 4 and breathe slowly through your mouth to count of 8 (do this 8 times) once or twice a day, hands: palms up with thumb and index fingers touching because that calms the frontal cortex of the brain; use with peace and harmony as your mantra and repeat what you are grateful/thankful for that day. The deep breathing, studies show, lowers stress hormones and enhances mood and focus.
#7. Reach out if you can’t function or can’t stop negative or suicidal thoughts or feeling hopeless. Help is only a phone call away.

Dr Bonnie is teaching skills (she herself and her husband use) to people regarding how to feel safe and grounded with teletherapy during this challenging and uncertain time to help ease the burden of the pandemic in this uncertain and challenging time and to help ground you and your loved ones. Call 212-606-3787 for more details and to schedule an appointment with Dr. Bonnie.

Covid 19 pandemic has caused a surge in BROKEN HEART SYNDROME

Dr Bonnie warns from recent research:  the increased Socioeconomic and psychological stress from the Covid 19 pandemic has caused a surge in BROKEN HEART SYNDROME (also known as Takotsubo). This new health hazard is occurring not from the virus itself but the stressors associated with the pandemic! Dr. Bonnie has worked with patients having this syndrome pre-pandemic from a broken heart due to  a heart-breaking or surprise  break-up. In a sense, this pandemic is a form of a breakup, from our  “normal” life as we know it, and can be heart stopping! Many hearts are broken from financial and psychological and social distancing stress, including long distance separations from a loved one due to mandatory quarantine. There is a magic in connection as a species and separations (similar to a breakup) puts increase strain on the heart. In broken heart syndrome a part of the heart enlarges and is unable to pump blood effectively. It is prudent to be vigilant as some of the symptoms can be the same as a heart attack or panic disorder or covid 19.

If you have had a recent loss, are experiencing PTSD or have broken up or feel cut off or alone from separation from family or friends or partner (your loved ones) from the fallout of the pandemic, you could be vulnerable to Takotsubo! Take heed of the symptoms: chest pains, shortness of breath, and the good news is it is very treatable medically and psychologically, especially with the magic of connecting!  

Tips to possibly minimize or prevent broken heart syndrome:
#1. Pay attention to these above symptoms especially if you just broke up, experience PTSD, are lonely, cry frequently, not eating or sleeping, not functioning, avoiding connection, feel hopeless.
#2. If approved medically exercise to reverse negative emotions, for feel good endorphins
#3. Connect to nature daily for an “endorphin rush” for a more positive outlook
#4. Do a written grateful exercise daily AM and PM to stress the good in your life
#5. take 20 minutes twice a day for “mope time” to cry or feel sad, in order to compartmentalize these feelings for better control over your feelings.
#6. reach out daily to friend or family
#7. Practice deep breathing 10 minutes a day to calm the frontal cortex, which sends  a calming  signal to reduce the stress on your heart .

Dr Bonnie’s heart goes out to you, and is available to hopefully prevent or ease the burden of a broken heart during the pandemic through teletherapy. Call 212-606-3787 for more details and to schedule an appointment with Dr. Bonnie.

Who is Doctor Bonnie and why she can help you!

Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert known as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists.  US Commerce Association voted Dr. Bonnie Best Therapist 2011-2017.

Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples, Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity; The #1 Relationship Wrecker.

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times (and was chosen as one of Oprah’s 10 favorite shows in 25 years), a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN.

Her cutting edge skills have been featured in The New York Times, New York Magazine, USA Today, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, People and Ladies’ Home Journal.

In her book, Make Up, Don’t Break Up, Dr. Weil takes you step-by- step through a new understanding of relationships – the mysterious process of connecting, why men disconnect and how to educate them to reconnect/connect. Her phone based integrative system will help you find and keep the lasting love you want.

Dr. Bonnie’s approach turns the conventional wisdom of finding and sustaining love- upside down:

• Men and women are more alike than different in their needs for love and intimacy.
• Why women should make the first move.
• Understanding your relationship with your parents is an essential step in finding and keeping love.
• Communication isn’t everything – you can talk a relationship to death!
• Adultery is a disease and needs to be treated on all levels. Dr. Bonnie’s Ground breaking system  can prevent and treat adultery and help heal the relationship, and it can be cured.
• You can turn your relationship around if you both are willing to learn and apply simple communication skills that will help you in any relationship you have at home or at work!