Can a Pill Cure Adultery?

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, Best-selling author & Love and Relationship Therapist, thinks so – and in her psychotherapy practice, she’s seen a 98 percent success rate with couples traumatized by adultery.

Propelled by her own family’s legacy of addiction and adultery, Dr. Weil discovered a connection between an overabundance of sugar in the blood and risky, thrill-seeking behavior. With the help of an Internist MD, Dr. Weil developed her theory and has been treating adultery as a disease ever since.

Dr. Weil believes that an adulterer’s “biochemical craving for connection” is a disease, which can be addressed with a change in diet and medication. Monogamy is a conscious decision to be faithful and stay in love, and adulterers are often thrill-seekers, thriving on danger and risk-taking. The combination of eliminating sugar from the diet and balancing blood sugar and brain chemicals with two supplement — Lithium Orotate and Oxytocin—led patients to report feelings of greater clarity, focus, and good judgment, resulting in better choices, and re-bonding with a partner. The supplements help to control temptation and the compulsion to cheat when paired with a special, blood sugar balancing diet (which includes the elimination of alcohol) and frequent exercise to counteract stress, loss, and separation.

The combination replaces the feelings of elation that may come with adultery, recreating the same chemicals our bodies produce when we are truly happy or in love. A partner who has been betrayed and may suffer symptoms of PTSD can also benefit from these supplements, hastening forgiveness and understanding.

Dr. Weil is available to discuss her theory further and provide testimonials from patients who have benefitted from her treatment (names must be changed for publication).

Disclaimer: DO NOT try these supplements without a doctor’s supervision and full medical workup.

Here are some case examples that I talk about in my book “Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery” understanding our biochemical craving for connection.

One such example is Devon, people with blood sugar imbalances can become easily obsessed, developing addictive and self-destructive behavior in order to calm down and lower their anxiety. Some examples are sexual adultery, drug use, alcohol abuse and overeating to calm down reduce the anxiety.

“Thrill-seeking” behavior, like adultery, is increased by blood sugar imbalance, stress, and OCD. This is why we use pills to reduce the anxiety and create a calmness. Oxytocin is similar to the forbidden fruit orgasm, which you have during an affair.

It is important to note that risk-taking and “thrill-seeking” behavior heightened by Vasopressin is (a hormone) increased by hypoglycemia and stress. Vasopressin (hormone) that can seek out dangerous “thrill-seeking” behavior increased even more by those with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) which is what we see in most adulterers.

Our Oxytocin is inhibited by stress so the “thrill-seeker” (who already have a high level of Vasopressin to calm down and seek out …..

The foods we eat provides the building blocks for every hormone and chemical in our bodies. If we eat foods that are building blocks for chemicals that make us feel good, they act like natural painkillers (endorphins), dopamine (the molecule of joy), and serotonin for mood which causes depression when it is too low. When serotonin is normal, we will feel calm, content, and happy.

 

Having too much sugar can upset the brain chemical balance and result in out of control and self-destructive behavior. For example – Marty and Mara, Marty had several affairs, his daily diet consisted of alcohol, pasta, and bread which all turned into sugar. His adultery stopped when he followed the diet of no alcohol, no sugar, and a restricted diet with special emphasis on making sure he took the Lithium Orotate and Oxytocin pills. His adultery returned when he “forgot” to take his pills, and became “tired” and “bored” with the diet.

When questioned by me why he was sabotaging himself, he said the diet was “too boring,” and he wanted to get that “thrill-seeking,” danger, and risk-taking feeling back that he felt from committing adultery. Marty also got back his poor judgment, and lack of clarity when he sabotaged himself.   He then left his wife for 12 months to go on a sexual spree. At the same time, this sabotage was contagious and his wife Mara stopped taking her Oxytocin, and her PTSD came back.

He went on to say, “it’s difficult to stop the adultery, it feels too good. I’m having so much fun without the pills. I like having no clarity”. He relied on the part of the brain that is reward driven and addictive.

It was a long way back – he craved what he was allergic to, the sugar and the sugar took the place of the pills. He got a high, then a low so he would commit adultery for the “thrill-seeking” drug, induced high, as he explained it, to counteract the low. The Oxytocin pill he was taking before helped his OCD as well so he could control his compulsions.

One week before his wife presented him with divorce papers, Marty, who loved to live on the edge, agreed to take the pills again, stop eating sugar, and drinking alcohol. I am happy to say that they are still together and very happy. The betrayed (Mara) still takes the Oxytocin also, as she continues to have PTSD which Oxytocin is very helpful for as well.

Today he has a very strict diet, exercises regularly, takes his pills daily without missing, and has been faithful for the past 2 ½ years, no temptations to act out. What happened in this couple’s case is his brain chemicals were balanced for more clarity after the blood sugar was balanced with the help of the pills he takes daily.

Another one of my patients, Chloe, had low serotonin, low dopamine, she felt no joy, and no sense of aliveness. When given supplements to reduce her stress and feelings of depression, she began to get her feelings back for her partner again and stopped the adultery.

Another example is Joel who knew (for years) he craved and was allergic to sugar and understood the protocol, but consciously sabotaged himself. He went on a 3-week ice cream binge and refused to take the Lithium Orotate and Oxytocin. Joel was “testing” me, and the doctor working with him. He did not believe that his unbalanced chemistry and stopping the pills that had helped him with clarity, judgment, calmness, and contentment, caused him feelings of depression, pessimism, and lack of passion for Susie.

 

When Joel could not get the “high,” he needed from the food he turned to sex with other women for self-medication. He began performing poorly at work and reached such a low point that he ended up separated, then begging Susie to take him back after a six-month stint of “living with a girlfriend,” and being a free spirit.

Today Joel and Susie are healing and working together on their marriage. Joel tried no more stints with me and the doctors and is dedicated to not self-medicating, and not using adultery as a wedge. He feels stable and content with the pills and his balanced blood sugar, giving him more clarity and better judgment, he also exercises every day which when done together prevents acting out – adultery.

The change in the diet and the pills, my patients say, takes away cravings for alcohol (which lowers inhibitions) so there is less chance of being tempted to cheat. I’ve seen this in my practice and also documented this in my book, Can We Cure And Forgive Adultery.

Without balancing brain chemistry, sugar imbalances, and diet change, adultery will resurface no matter how much psychotherapy you have and rear its ugly head again. Patients came back 2 years later with recurring adultery caused by stopping the pills, not following the diet, not eliminating sugar and alcohol, and not exercising regularly.

My father, who is my inspiration for doing this work, unsuccessfully only had psychotherapy (4 times a week for 8 years), struggling for 25 years and not being able to stop cheating. He told his doctor’s it appeared to be something he could not control and manage even with Psychotherapy. My Father explained regularly his OCD symptoms (the compulsion to cheat) to no avail and said the symptoms became more pronounced with sugar (he had a daily candy draw) and when he did not eat for long periods of time (hypoglycemia low blood sugar) and was overly stressed. 25 years later he received the proper help from my Mentor, Dr. Fogarty, followed his protocol and completely stopped cheating on my mother for the next 25 years!

My dream and my father’s, who left this legacy, is seeing these questions with answers. Our dream is seeing these neurological and biochemical indicators also used, as psychotherapy progresses, so patients have objective measures of progress they are making, as these pills correct their neurotransmitter imbalances with the added talk therapy to rewire the brain. By balancing brain chemicals (neurotransmitters), adultery can be cured, controlling sugar imbalances, changing the diet, and adding exercise to do so. Per my father’s discovery, guidance, and painful journey (with my mother) and the successful implementation of my father and with patients over the years, I developed my theory The Biochemical Craving For Connection which has proven then and only then is the time to use psychotherapy to deal with the stress, loss, and separation to complete the treatment of the “disease” of adultery when the biochemical factors are also dealt with.

There is a physical basis for our cravings, whether we crave alcohol, drugs, food, or a new lover. We are attempting to recreate the emotional contentedness and connectedness we’ve lost. This is our “biochemical craving for connection.” We fill our emotional emptiness with lovers, booze or drugs because doing so causes our bodies to create the same chemicals we make when we are truly happy or in love. Lithium Orotate and Oxytocin brings the mind and body with the other protocol mentioned, to that safe, calm place. The change in diet, the balance of blood sugar, and the exercise which raises the dopamine (the molecules of joy), that brings people to that safe, calm place. This minimizes destructive, addictive, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) behavior as it calms and quiets the mind.

Our neurotransmitters are hereditary, passed down from generation to generation (thus the “disease” of adultery as we see in the Kennedy Family, and in the Royal Family).   The good news is, despite their neurotransmitters being passed down from generation to generation, they can be changed, as the brain is plastic, and these pills start the new behavior, giving people choices and ways to alleviate the pain and to save their families and jobs from the trauma of the “disease” of adultery!

It’s time we see this “disease” as curable! Another benefit of the pills is it helps with getting the feeling back for you and your partner after adultery for both the adulterer and the betrayed!!!

Monogamy is a CONSCIOUS decision to stay faithful and to stay in love. However, without the pills, there is no clarity and judgment to make that monogamous choice. For saboteurs who are compelled to act out and hurt their families, there is no choice. These pills create a new choice to counteract compulsion or OCD.

For people who can’t stop cheating or feel they’re out of love with their partner this biochemical craving for connection treatment works!

Disclaimer: DO NOT try these supplements without a doctor’s supervision and full medical workup

Adultery is a treatable, curable, and a forgivable sin! Take a Sneak Peek into my best-selling Adultery book –
FREE!

 I am here to support you with any questions you may have about adultery.  Please do not hesitate to call me directly at 212-606-3787 with your relationship questions.

Here is to finding and keeping real love!

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D. – Love and Relationship Therapist
Best-selling author of:

Adultery: The Forgivable Sin
Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery
Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples 
Financial Infidelity; The #1 Relationship Wrecker

Should You Stay Or Should You Go?

This is the biggest questions I am asked by the couples I work with who stay together and are a part of my 98% success rate. To help them decide, I give them a quiz to see if they will put the effort in, not only to save but stay in the relationship or marriage.

Yes, it does take effort, less effort than starting all over with a new person, however, because getting rid of a person does not get rid of a problem and second marriages are higher in adultery and divorce than first marriages.

Why?

Because your unresolved family and generational issues will follow you in any relationship. So make an effort to work it out with the person you chose who IS supposed to give you the most trouble in order to figure out your childhood wounds.

With a learned way to dialogue and connect, which I teach my patients, you can finish your childhood that way, because it is supposed to be with the person you love the most. The reason I made the video “How to fall in love and stay in love” and wrote Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples to go along with it is to teach both singles and couples how to use humor and how to “fight” properly because “polite” marriages are much higher in divorce and adultery.

Here are the 24 questions I use and want you to ask yourself before deciding to leave your relationship or marriage!

Questions to Ask Yourself When Deciding Whether or Not to Stay

  1. Did you not marry for love?
  2. Are you running away from emptiness?
  3. Are you avoiding intimacy now that you are in the rebuilding phase? (After the affair is uncovered and stopped the real intimacy-avoiders have to look themselves in the face. That is when panic sets in.)
  4. Are you a grudge-holder like other members in your family?
  5. Do you have a hard time with bitterness? Do you not handle forgiveness well?

Click the button below to download the full list of questions.

I am here to support you with any questions you may have on how to make up, not break up.  Please do not hesitate to call me directly at 212-606-3787 with your relationship questions.

 

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D. – Love and Relationship Therapist
Best-selling author of:

Adultery: The Forgivable Sin
Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery
Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples 
Financial Infidelity; The #1 Relationship Wrecker