Women Ignored On Mother’s Day More Likely to Cheat

Women Ignored On Mother’s Day More Likely to Cheat

Dr. Bonnie says there is a rise in adultery for women with a dissatisfaction of being taken for granted and not appreciated for all women do. This is heightened on Mother’s Day when women feel they do so much for their partner and family and it is so important to them to realize this everyday not just once a year!

There are consequences for ignoring Mother’s Day. According to AshleyMadison.com—a website dedicated to helping married individuals find partners to have affairs, one of the biggest days of the year for female signups is the day after Mother’s Day (along with the day after Valentine’s Day).  Data from the site reports that women are ignored or devalued during holiday’s they deem important—Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day, become disillusioned with their relationship, and many seek attention from men outside their relationships immediately following these holidays.

Husbands who ignore their wives send a message that their work is not appreciated. Women work an extra 36 hours a week on home and family-related tasks, above and beyond their jobs outside the home. Mother’s Day offers a structured way to honor their contribution. It is imperative that men honor the work involved in being a wife, mother, and holding down a job outside the home, especially on Mother’s Day—the one day of the year husband’s can honor the dedication and specialized work involved in being a mother. A partner who deflects ignores or devalues Mother’s Day sends the message that he takes his wife for granted.

A husband is doing more than honoring his wife on Mother’s Day. He is sending a message to the children that their mother deserves recognition for her priceless contributions to the family. Children have emotional antennae, so dads should get their children involved in making gifts and surprising their moms with tender sentiments.

Couples Don’t Know How to Stay In Love 

Couples Don’t Know How to Stay In Love

39 percent of Americans think marriage is obsolete. Dr. Bonnie believes this is because couples fall in love without the skills to stay in love. Dr. Bonnie’s book Make Up Don’t Break Up with the online DVD Falling in Love and Staying In Love teaches couples Smart Heart Skills, which offers a bridge from infatuation to emotional intimacy.

Dr. Bonnie responds to the survey reporting that 39 percent of Americans said marriage was becoming obsolete: “Couples don’t have skills for staying in love, and mistakenly believe that marriage will make them fall out of love.”

“Marriage takes skills, and it easy for couples to become complacent, especially if they don’t know how to build emotional intimacy. Since it takes work and finesse, commitment is key when there are difficult challenges.

Conversely, couples who don’t get married can have one foot out the door, and when the going gets tough, believe they have an escape hatch.”

The high percentage of Americans who believe that marriage is becoming obsolete correlates with the U.S. census data released in September that showed marriages hit an all-time low of 52 percent for adults 18 and over.

“Living together without getting married is a strong statement that couples don’t think the relationship is going to last,” says Dr. Bonnie. “It is a cop out for people who don’t know how to stay in love. Couples need to add novelty, adventure, curiosity, and engage in those activities they participated in when they fell in love.

“People need to learn the Smart Heart Skills and dialogue that I teach on the DVD “Falling in Love and Staying in Love” which is available online with purchase of my book Make Up Don’t Break Up. The Smart Heart skills I teach are the glue to keep the relationship new,” says Dr. Bonnie Weil.

“A commitment to marriage is an intentional decision to stay in love.” In the book Make Up Don’t Break Up Dr. Bonnie teaches relationship building dialogue as well as ways to rekindle the romance magic and bring back those beginning stage feelings.

“When the honeymoon phase of a relationship ends (anywhere from 12-36 months) a couple might believe they have fallen out of love. This is a very important time of transition where skills are needed to move into the next phase of their relationship,” explains Dr. Bonnie. “Staying in a relationship takes work, but the payoff is an emotionally connected and intimate union where memories are made.

For more information on SmartHeart skills, check out her book, winner of NY Times Reader’s Choice Award, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples” for more magic in marriage.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists and US Commerce association as Manhattan’s best therapist. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker.

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.

Dr. Bonnie is available for phone therapy. Call 212-606-3787 for more details and to schedule an appointment with Dr. Bonnie.

Are you or your partner ripe for burnout/affair?

Are you or your partner at risk for burnout which always leads to cheating?

Here are the warning signs:

• Do you have less or no empathy, only going through the motions (just checking off the list or the box)?
• Not in the moment?
• Never feel it’s good enough ?
• No time and you’ve stopped doing the things you love? You are into “supposed to’s” not want to’s?
• You do not think you should rest or chill lax (relax or chill) and never find the time for yourself?
• You don’t know the word NO or your partner does not take that seriously, cheerleading you into burnout “yes”!
• Do you disengage from socializing?
• Are you low energy?
• Wake up tired?
• Sleep less then the recommended 7 or 8 hrs?
• Eat junk or comfort food to gain energy and self medicate and to stress bust?
• Low sex drive?
• Joyless?

All her adultery patients suffer from this, a “biochemical craving for connection.” Burnout from high stress causing low energy, and sleep which should be first is last on the list of priorities. Lack of sleep causes cravings for carbs, sugar and comfort foods to overcompensate, but both are culprits for self-medicating adulterous behavior (poor impulsive choices, decisions, and judgement), lack of clarity in the brain.

For success and FIDELITY in a relationship sleep and healthy diet need to be as much a priority as daily affirmations and gratitude to your partner not criticism.

Monogamy is a conscious choice and when burnout takes over you are UNCONSCIOUS!

“No wonder cheating is so rampant because burnout is!!”, says Dr. Bonnie

Here is the prescription to cheat proof and burnout proof your relationship :

1. Make time daily and weekly for things you love that bring you or your partner joy (no excuses)!
2. Affirmations and gratitude daily before bed and awakening for what you do have and have accomplished
3. Unplug, no excuses, hour a day and connect connect connect and socialize face to face eye to eye!!!
4. Say no when you feel like saying yes
5. Weekends are for chill laxing, not chores, if you can pay someone or ask for help from family, you need time for yourself to do nothing!, a guilt free weekend of leisure time. Many affairs, my patients tell me, are to “go on vacation”, leisure to get away from it all, stress, work, without the guilt.

Of course affairs give you more guilt !!

So makeup don’t break up with yourself or your partner.

For a consult to see if you’re ripe for an affair or relationship burnout, call Doctor Bonnie at 212-606-3787

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil has over 30 years of experience as a counselor and therapist, and specializes in issues related to dating, marriage, divorce, and infidelity. She has authored books about relationships including Best Seller and Readers Choice Award winning book Make Up, Don’t Break Up; Financial Infidelity; Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery (Introducing her new theory and treatment of adultery as a disease) and Adultery: The Forgivable Sin.

Forgetting Valentine’s Day is Not Coincidental

Warning to men: “Forgetting Valentine’s Day is not coincidental” says relationship therapist and adultery expert, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. “It’s an unconscious, destructive, grudge holding, romance wrecker.”

Make Valentine’s Day sizzle instead!

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD warns couples about how Valentine’s Day can be destructive and can even lead to divorce.

It does not have to be, consider Valentine’s day a litmus test for taking the temperature of a marriage or relationship. Wives or girlfriends expect romance magic and sizzle on the most romantic day of the year. Instead, they are extremely disappointed if their husbands or boyfriends “forget” this romantic holiday.

Forgetting Valentine’s Day is “accidentally” on purpose to create drama, a fight, even a breakup, temporary as it may be. It’s a wake-up call, and a cry for help. His behavior is a symptom of unresolved relationship debris. Dr. Bonnie calls it “revenge forgetting” to her patients. The “forgetful” partner may have some resentment or hold a grudge with anger. Maybe he feels taken for granted or hates feeling nagged (brought on by stonewalling or not listening) or demanded upon. He may harbor negative feelings subconsciously, so he redirects this by disappointing her. He displaces his own quiet rage by getting his wife angry.

Some excuses women should never accept are: it’s only a retail holiday, it’s too commercial, every day is Valentine’s Day, restaurants are crowded and too expensive, or florists rip you off. These excuses cause disappointing feelings and are real “romance wreckers.” They set the stage for distance, detachment, and possibly divorce.

Dr. Bonnie teaches SmartHeart skills, as emphasized in Make Up, Don’t Break Up (https://www.amazon.com/Make-Up-Dont-Break-Finding/dp/1605503606) , to help identify a grudge and prevent build up of resentments. Learning how to “fight fair” can increase passion by clearing the air. These “skills” especially help men learn to communicate by appointment instead of walking out of the room during discussions. “Fair fighting” teaches empathy and affection and this increases passion when the offending partner has a time limit for fighting and has permission do so, in short intervals. Examples, performed by real, live couples, can be found in Make Up, Don’t Break Up’s online video, “How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples.”

Men need many “time outs.” They are allergic to women’s emotionality. With “fair fighting,” men can air their resentments instead of storing them and the conflict works as an aphrodisiac for eventual passion. The power is in getting heard, not getting mad. Letting go of grudges is not about being right or fair, it’s about what works.

If a partner is missing out on Valentine’s day, he is missing out on one of the most romantic days and moments for potential intimacy. Forgetting the holiday is often a recurring pattern, so Dr. Bonnie suggests combating that by encouraging wives and girlfriends to take the initiative. Remind him about the Valentine’s Day, go shopping with him for it, and get him excited about the celebration.

To seize the moment, use Dr. Bonnie’s SmartHeart tips from her book “Make Up, Don’t Break Up” () and accompanying streaming video “How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples.” Since Valentine’s Day can be used to measure the temperature of a relationship, more often than not, men forgetting Valentine’s Day is a sign of something more. These warning signs can be signs of adultery or the ripening of a relationship for an affair, so heed the warning. Men are not in touch with their feelings and typically hold in these feelings. Men need to be guided as they don’t always know how to feel or what they feel. Most men are “connectable by instruction.”

To quote Dr. Jeff Weil, Dr. Bonnie’s husband, “If I knew what I felt, I would tell you, so I welcome your help.” SmartHeart dialogue was born by dialoguing to help Jeff understand what he was feeling and be able to express it. SmartHeart dialogue helps them dig deep with small doses of communication and results in an endorphin high with “play” after the talks.

Kissing is a “Smart Heart” opportunity that emits Oxytocin and releases “feel good” hormones that bond you to your partner and create a feeling of safety. This negates the bad feelings a partner might harbor. If issues remain unresolved, they are a wake up call and a cry for help, so Dr. Bonnie recommends counseling. Romance should be number one priority on your list and it is the first to go when relationship troubles are brewing.

Beyond forgetting Valentine’s year after year, some other signs that he may be secretly harboring a grudge include,: excusing his behavior, minimizing the holiday, putting down his partner for wanting to celebrate, makes fun of the holiday, acting like a Scrooge, pushing partner away, turned off when affection is initiated by the other, leaves early in the day, comes home late, is argumentative, is not talkative around you but is with others, little or no intimacy with partner, “too tired” or uses work to distance themselves, shuts down when approached, stonewalls with silence, denies anything is wrong, does not want to discuss the grudge, or gets moody when asked about it.

To grudge bust,: do not say yes when you mean no, watch out for delayed reactions that cause resentment later, stand your ground, don’t cave even if it’s easier, “act as if” even if you don’t “feel” the good feelings, do not do “peace at any price” it leads to war, write letter representing par

For more information on “fighting fair” to fight grudges and SmartHeart skills, Check out her book, winner of NYTimes Reader’s Choice Award, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples”  for more warning signs and solutions to reach magic in marriage.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine and the US Commerce Association as one of New York City’s best therapists. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin  (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples  (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery? , Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker  .

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com (https://doctorbonnie.com) .

Beware Pre Valentine’s Day: February 13th is Mistress Day says Dr. Bonnie

Consider this a heads up to wives: “Beware of February 13th. Pre Valentine’s Day is Mistress Day”, says marriage and relationship therapist, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil.

You may be looking forward to a romantic, special Valentine’s Day, but your husband may be keeping someone else out late the night before. According to AOL reports, February 13th is possibly busier than February 14th for florists, restaurant reservations, and lingerie stores because men, especially those with the Madonna-mistress complex, are wining and dining their mistresses.

The mistress feels like the second fiddle being honored on the 13th, so often the husband over corrects to alleviate the guilt of “sloppy seconds.” He might buy lavish and romantic presents for her like diamonds and jewelry, while the wife gets a more “practical” gift like a blender or vacuum cleaner. According to research done by Ashley Madison, a website created for “discreet encounters,” cheating husbands are likely to spend over 2 times the amount of money on their mistresses compared to gifts for their wives. Dr. Bonnie says this is to pacify the mistresses who are relegated to “leftover time,” as most of his time is spent at work or with family. The husband uses gifts to make up for her lack of status.

Dr. Bonnie wants you to heed the warning signs of Mistress Day. Pay attention if you’re noticing late nights on February 13th, vagueness about his whereabouts, or a distant and distracted partner. The husband may even be taking his wife out to the exact same restaurant for Valentine’s Day as he did his mistress the night before. Same maitre d, same waiter, same food, different woman! Dr. Bonnie explains the Madonna Mistress complex, as found in Adultery: The Forgivable Sin, as a symptom of men “splitting” their wives in half emotionally. The wife is the madonna–she is put on a pedestal as mother and caretaker of him and his children. The mistress fulfills his need for thrill seeking, mystery, novelty. She is used for excitement and physical desires.

Men with this complex might forget romantic touches like a card, chocolates, or flowers, but will fulfill their perfunctory duty by taking their partners out to dinner. He might have to be reminded about the holiday or the wife may have to make the dinner reservation. Some other warning signs of the madonna-mistress complex include a partner’s physical rejection, even when the other is wearing lingerie or “spicing things up,” rejecting date night, or provoking arguments when wife is playful or flirty. He comes late into marital bed nightly after wife asleep, “jumps “out of bed before wife awakes to go to the gym, makes sure he is not alone with wife, brings family along always, is “tired” for face to face, or is a workaholic. Maybe, conversations revolve around work or children only. If these warning signs are familiar, seek out counseling as the relationship is ripe for an affair. Adultery can be prevented, treated, and forgiven if it is caught early, and the adulterer stops the behavior and shows remorse. Dr. Bonnie advocates having an affair with your own partner to avoid what she calls the “Biochemical Craving for Connection” with a mistress (as demonstrated in Oprah and Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful”).

She recommends using SmartHeart skills from “Make Up, Don’t Break Up” to prevent adultery and become a mistress instead of only a madonna.

It is important to go out with your husband. Make no excuses. Dress up and don’t talk about problems, kids, or money. Use the time to connect and court intimacy.

Do not drink alcohol during a rough patch. It is a depressant and makes you more confrontational and aggressive when talking about your problems with each other.

Sometimes, make sure to be more of a mistress than a caretaker. Don’t give unwanted advice.

Recreate those same brain chemicals you had when you first fell in love, back when you were in the honeymoon stage. A simple 20-second hug will rejuvenate dopamine and leave you with a fully alive, happy feeling. A 30-second kiss produces oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone,” making partners feel bonded and safe with each other. Keep falling in love with your own partner by having an affair with your own partner.

For more information on SmartHeart skills and the madonna in marriage, check out her book, winner of NYTimes Reader’s Choice Award, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples” for more magic in marriage.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists and US Commerce association. Manhattan best therapist. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker.

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.

Dr. Bonnie is available for relationship therapy via phone. Call 212-606-3787 for more details and to schedule an appointment with Dr. Bonnie.

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