Invest in your Future: Be Proactive!

Are you a spender or a withholder? Do my Financial Infidelity exercise and find out!

Smart Heart Dialogue: Be Preemptive – Use this BEFORE the wedding, engagement, big anniversary, the big vacation, the Bar Mitzvah, or Sweet Sixteen or looking for colleges.

Dr. Bonnie’s SmartHeart tips to combat and neutralize that “Opposites Attract” (yes even with money)!

1. Learning how to SAFELY communicate through the Smartheart money love language. This helps you and your partner or potential partner both work out your emotional and “generational” baggage.
2. See this as a challenging but albeit .. a Gratifying Journey! You will have accepted and valued your DIFFERENCES re: money. (Opposites attract especially when it comes to money, the no. 1 relationship wrecker). See the intricate value of those differences!
   My patient a SAVER, married a SPENDER and together, oh yes, they are living happily ever after… neutralizing each other — the spender cut back, the saver “lived a little” and yes it increased their passion (from their differences) and reduced their worries and power struggles about money!
3. Use SmartHeart skills and dialogue to wake you up to the fact that problems and challenges regarding money are not reasons to quit – to NOT stop your relationship (even if it just started) or if married a long time or thinking of living together or thinking of embarking on marriage).
4. Money differences like any differences offer an opportunity to grow closer
   Why? The intimacy becomes deeper, passion greater, with precise “specific” communication with smart heart tools and dialogue.

SmartHeart Dialogue: Be Smart Heart Saavy BEFORE money becomes REAL problems.

Couple after engagement. She asks her fiancé: Can I have an appointment with you for 10 minutes? What time works for you?
He: How about now to dialogue together. Let’s keep it at 10 minute intervals with timeouts.
She: We need to figure out how much we want to spend on our wedding, what my parents should contribute, what your parents want to give.
He: How about we invite our parents over and use the Smartheart dialogue using empathy and clarity for each family’s responsibility.

Remember to tell each other your “scripts” or vision and discuss “differences” re money or otherwise with kindness and respect by appointment, with permission and time limited.
From Financial Infidelity by Dr Bonnie Eaker Weil. Pages 247, 248 including Dr. Bonnie’s SmartHeart Cheat Sheet Exercise to understand you and your partner’s triggers regarding money.

Purchase Financial Infidelity by Bonnie Eaker-Weil, PhD fromDr. Bonnie Eaker Weil is a renowned international relationship therapist and owner of a NYC private practice, with over 35 years of experience. She specializes in issues related to families, dating, marriage, and infidelity. She developed a theory for addiction called the Bio Chemical Craving for Connection. She is a five-time award winner as New York City’s Best Therapist. Dr. Bonnie is the author of 5 books including best seller and NY Times Readers’ Choice Award winning book Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker.”  Her book “Adultery: The Forgivable Sin” was turned into the Lifetime movie, “Silence of Adultery.”