What’s the Secret to a Good Marriage? Look to Superbowl 51 for Answers
Finding the secrets to a good marriage are closer than one might think, just look at the TV screen! Bill Belichick and Tom Brady work together to form an explosive team and their football “marriage” is one to emulate in personal marital relationships.
February 02, 2017
The secrets to a good marriage are right on the TV screen. Just ask Bill Belichick and Tom Brady! They definitely have one, says football therapist, relationship therapist and author of “Make Up, Don’t Break Up,” Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. Brady has been quoted as giving his coach, Belichick, the control, instead of working against him. This is similar to a functional marriage–you’re on the same team. Dr. Bonnie says it’s the combination of the two together, an “opposites match made in heaven.” Like the couples she sees in her practice, they share control and don’t compete against one another. They complement each other’s strengths, and feed off each other in a good way.
Talking heads, players, and fans on programs like ESPN’s “First Take” and all over the internet and TV debate endlessly over who’s responsible. Who gets the credit? Is it Tom? Is it Belichick? Can one win without the other? As they go to their 7th Superbowl this upcoming Sunday, the magic in their marriage is evident. Will their chemistry and hard work pay off in a victory and a 5th Superbowl title together?
Dr. Bonnie and her husband met Tom Brady in an elevator the day before his first Superbowl against the Rams. In talking to him and hearing his nerves, she used her “SmartHeart” skills, honing in on positive affirmations, to encourage a win (he won!) Dr. Bonnie adds, “in a good marriage, each partner listens to the other which brings validation and respect.” Brady is quoted as saying he listens to Belichick and Belichick respects and listens to Brady. No love can exist with couples if respect is missing. Dr. Bonnie says their winning “opposites” combination is easy to understand. Bill Belichick’s better half is Tom Brady and vice versa. Defensive minded Belichick and offensive guru, Brady, show how opposites attract just like in a marriage, and just like in a marriage, over time, they become more alike than different in how they approach things. They mirror each other. In a marriage, the “hard knocks” make the couple stronger. The same is true for Belichick and Brady, both of whom had to overcome bumps and crashes at the start of their respective careers. Belichick was fired in the beginning of his career and experienced a resurgence as head coach of the Patriots. It was largely Belichick’s trust in a sixth-round draft pick out of Michigan that elevated Brady to his hall of famer status today. This is the best type of “marriage” according to Dr. Bonnie. They keep learning and growing from each other, creating positive vibes that translate to reaching a potential 5th Superbowl win in Superbowl 51! Brady’s secret is not resisting Belichick’s demands, but conforming to them. Just like in a marriage, they have gotten past the “Power Struggle” stage and are in the “Real Life Love” stage that is based on respect and validating one another. It is what is essential in a marriage–letting each other do their own thing without encumberments.
Just like the twosome in a couple, the connection and the relationship between quarterback and coach is the difference between winning or losing a Superbowl, as it filters down to the whole football team. So to answer commentators, players, and fans whether it is Belichick or Brady who wins Superbowls, it’s the marriage between the two of them! It’s the combination as a pair recommitting to each other every game as you do with your partner every day in a marriage.
For more information on reaching real life love and opposites in marriage, enroll in Dr. Bonnies online education to-go course, Marriage and Relationships: Keys to Success. Check out her book, winner of NY Times Reader’s Choice Award, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples” for more and SmartHeart Skills and magic in marriage.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists and US Commerce association. Manhattan best therapist. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker.
Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN.
Dr. Bonnie went on 76 coffee dates before she met her second husband and the love of her life. The experience of meeting so many single men taught her that getting in a relationship is part luck and part skill. Read more here.
How to Have a Winter Affair with Your Partner… and blizzards are perfect for it!
As Storm Stella prepares to blanket the Northeast with snow, I implore you to use it as an excuse to make some long-lasting winter memories! While not being able to get to scheduled appointments – like work, school, meetings, etc – can be stressful, it’s important to use the mandatory down-time to rekindle a spark with your significant other. Refocus this downtime and put it to good use. READ MORE
Dr. Bonnie is quoted in Andrea Peyser’s column about protecting Baron Trump
Dr. Bonnie was interviewed for an article by Andrea Peyser’s column “Melania’s first job as first lady is to protect Baron.” Read more here.
Dr. Bonnie in Men’s Health….
Dr. Bonnie was interviewed for an article in the Jan/Feb issue of Men’s Health. She talked about financial infidelity in relationships and how to talk to your spouse about financial matters. Read more about Financial Infidelity in her book Financial Infidelityavailable here.
Today, on my birthday, I want to talk about something I’m particularly passionate about–something my Mom taught me how to combat tens of years ago: bullying. I spoke with Andrea Peyser at The New York Post about bullying and its effects over the weekend. Read it here!
Dr. Bonnie quoted in Care.com
Read what Dr. Bonnie has to say about 6 Mother’s Day Gifts for Modern Moms. Click here
Dr. Bonnie quoted in Chicago Tribune about Couples and Money
Doctor Bonnie has a video on the Huffington Post! Watch it here.
Dr. Bonnie quoted in Cosmopolitan
Read what Dr. Bonnie has to say about how to defuse a blowout. Click here
Dr. Bonnie quoted in USA Today
Read what Dr. Bonnie has to say about Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn. Click here
Experts Sound Off on Money and Dating
Hear what Dr. Bonnie and other experts have to say about Money and Dating. Click here
The Future of Personal Development
Check out this multi-media ebook experience and get the most precious pieces of wisdom from 21 authors and “Transformers of Consciousness” in short video clips, short articles and quotes. This reading experience is fun and exciting and you’ll get each author’s hottest advice for this year and beyond!
Men’s Health, May 2013Read what Dr. Bonnie has to say about Turning a Fight into Make Up Sex.
Friday April 12, 2013: Read what Dr. Bonnie has to say about 6 Mother’s Day Gifts for Modern Moms in Care.com.
Friday April 11, 2013: Read what Dr. Bonnie has to say about how to defuse a blowout in Cosmopolitan.
Tuesday March 19, 2013– Dr. Bonnie is quoted in the USA Today about Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn
Tuesday February 5, 2013– Dr. Bonnie is quoted in the Toronto Sun about Annoying Pet Peeves that could kill the romance
Thursday November 15, 2012 – Dr. Bonnie quoted in Toronto Sun about Petreaus isn’t the first (or the last): Why powerful men cheat. Saturday June 30, 2012 – Dr. Bonnie quoted in USA Today about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes
Wednesday, April 17, 2012 – Dr. Bonnie was quoted in the Chicago Tribune about Couples and Money.
Sunday, February 5, 2012 – Dr. Bonnie was interviewed about Superbowl XLVI’s New England Patriot’s Bill Belichick and Tom Brady in the New York Times.
Friday, November 18, 2011Dr. Bonnie is quoted in USA Today about Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore’s breakup
Monday July 11, 2011 Dr. Bonnie is quoted in OK Magazine where she spoke about May/December Relationships:
“People who say they are in love with someone much younger than themselves often mean that they’re in lust. And, when the honeymoon stage is over, they’ll soon find that they have little in common. They’re in for a rude awakening.
Wednesday July 6 Dr. Bonnie is quoted in Match.com on What’s Your Attachment Style?Read More Here.
Saturday July 2, 2011 Dr. Bonnie is quote in E-Harmony Tips on How To Increase The Frequency of Sex for Long Term Couples . Read more
Tuesday, June 14 , 2011 Dr. Bonnie appeared on CBS New York Channel 2 . Dr. Bonnie spoke about Representative Weiner and why he’s risking it all.
May 2011 – Dr. Bonnie is quoted on MarieClaire.com on How To Avoid a Money Meltdown. Read more here.
Thursday, May 5, 2011 in New York PostHonor Mom – or Another ‘Daddy’ Will by Andrea Peyser. Dr. Bonnie is quoted about husbands who don’t pay attention to their spouses on Mother’s Day and the ramifications.
Wednesday, February 21, 2011 in OK Magazine, pg. 32 Dr. Bonnie in OK Magazine weighs in Mark Kelly blasting off into space while his wife Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is recovering.
The Best Rx for Relationships(A Guy’s Point of View) by Thomas Hillegass
“We need to talk about our relationship.” Is there a sentence hat strikes more fear, trembling and mumbling into the strongest man’s soul? But with the right prescription, we can be the stand-up, take charge guys that we normally are, even in the face of the dreaded “relationship” talk.
What is the prescription for a healthy relationship? In a book I am reading, the little girl, missing her absent mother, says, “Dad, let’s play dolls.” He’s thinking, why not “Let’s play baseball cards,” or “Let’s play demolition derby.” These I know – but dolls? He gamely concedes, “Okay, after dinner we’ll play one game of dolls.”
Playing one game of dolls may seem easy compared with being asked by our significant other to tell them how we are feeling. We would like to know what we are feeling, too! For many of us, we often don’t get much beyond “Pick one: mad, glad, sad or bad.” Most of the time, with enough reflection, the correct answer is “all of the above,” but we don’t know how to verbalize this and certainly not in a way that our partner really wants to hear.
Several things are for sure: we like to be good at what we do, we plan to succeed, and we will hang from any convenient ledge to keep our partner happy. But we too often have a feeling of failure when to comes to talking about relationships or feelings. It doesn’t come naturally to us and we don’t know the rules of the game. We try to fake it ’till we make it – but we may loose our lover before the end of this experimental phase. Read More
Financial Infidelity
by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil
After forty years, there’s a new woman’s lib – the pendulum swings again. Familiar and comfortable sex roles around money are being rewritten. We need to change the way we look at male-female power dynamics. We need a new way to navigate the shift in power due to male-female role reversal and the resulting power dynamic that now faces both couples and singles. Financial infidelity can be just as harmful as sexual infidelity.
The way out of this struggle is what I call money love language or smart heart dialogue based on Harville Hendrix’sbrilliant Imago Dialogue. It gives couples a way to maintain attuned contact when they are experiencing problems with intimacy and connection.
Money and intimacy problems are often linked. Men typically feel defined by money. Research shows that men feel happier in marriage if they are the main breadwinners. However, today women are earning more than ever before. In twenty-five percent of households, women are earning half the household income. They are stepping, not without internal conflict, into the role of breadwinner – in addition to the hours they may already commit to chauffeuring, cooking, and cleaning. Women are feeling burned out. Men are feeling demoted and obsolete. Men are used to being nurtured but now women also require that same nurturing. The fallout from this role confusion is resentment and “financial infidelity” a form of cheating so subtle you don’t even know you’re cheating. Read more
June 2010Match.com– Dr. Bonnie quoted in an article on Realism in the Romantic Comedy!
June 14th, 2010 Babble.com– Dr. Bonnie quoted in an article on Is Divorce contagious?
April 29thUSA Today– Dr. Bonnie discusses Sandra Bullock and other celebrities!
April 17thThe Today Show– Dr. Bonnie will be featured with her patients speaking on Financial Infidelity!
April 2nd CBS 7:30pm– Dr. Bonnie will be on Entertainment Tonight speaking on Jesse James and Tiger Woods!!
April 4th 2010 – Discovery Health 9pm EST, Documentary on Infidelity featuring Dr. Bonnie and her patients on the devastation of adultery/cybersex on a relationship – show titled “Unfaithful“.
February 26, 2010 – Dr. Bonnie featured in an article on CNN.com called “The Secret Lives of America’s Debtors”.
February 22nd, 2010 – Dr. Bonnie featured in USA Today as an expert on the outcome of Tiger Woods.
February 19th – Good Day New York featured Dr. Bonnie speaking on Tiger Woods “Forgivable Sin”.
June 2010 – A & E Drug Addiction biography featuring Dr. Bonnie – Appearing internationally.
March 2010 – SELF Magazine – Dr. Bonnie talks about Couples who are overcoming their relationship problems.
March 2010 – Women’s Health magazine – Dr. Bonnie talks about How to Fight Fairly.
February 13th – Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil appeared in The Toronto Star in an article titled How to fight with your lover.
February 2010 –Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil in OK Magazine spoke about Tiger Woods. Pages 38-39
Dr. Bonnie has appeared on the The Today Show, CBS Saturday Early Show, Oprah!, FoxTV on a 4 day series as a voyeur on dating, and The View .
Her relationship tips and advice has also been featured in Good Housekeeping, The New York Times, New York Daily News, USA Today, Cosmopolitan, Ladies Home Journal, Mens Health, Womens Health, Self, Redbook and Maxim.
Dr. Weil has a thriving practice in New York City, and consults/therapy by phone with singles and couples about their relationships all over the world. She is a distinguished lecturer and consultant.
For more info. regarding telephone relationship therapy
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil
30 Waterside Plaza
Suite 12J
New York, NY 10010
Telephone (212) 606-3787
Fax (212) 213-0934
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, was a featured guest on the www.jenandbarbmomlife.com, on March 5, March 19, and April 2, 2009. The shows aired on Parenthood, YouTube, MySpace, Facebook, Blinkx and TOPTVBytes.com. This piece was also nominated for a Webby Award!
The first show from March 5th, 2009 “Do You Communicate With Your Partner?” and sponsored by Kraft. Dr. Bonnie talks about the tools to get husbands to listen and bring back the Honeymoon Phase…This show uses Dr. Bonnie’s book Make Up, Don’t Break Up.
March 19th Show: “Are You A Parent To Your Parents” – Dr. Bonnie brings insight to taking care of your aging parents and your small children and still having fun, and time for yourself. Dr. Bonnie shows you how with her Make Up, Don’t Break Up book.
April 2nd Show: “How Much Did Those Shoes Really Cost?” Dr. Bonnie talks about the Importance of telling the truth about spending and shares tips that make talking about money not so uncomfortable. Dr. Bonnie helps you with her Financial Infidelity book, which is available in hardback and paperback from Amazon.com.
MEDIA APPEARANCES:
Dr. Bonnie has appeared in or on:
• Women’s HealthApril 2010 talking about How To Fight Fairly
• SELF April 2010 talking about Couples Overcoming Their Problems
• Canada AM
• Ladies Home Journalin March 2009, April 2009, November 2009
• Men’s Health, March 2009
• SELF Magazine, March 2009; pg. 158
Stressed Out Get a Grip, Stress-Less Strategies
• Redbook May 2009
• Women’s Health, April 2009
• Cosmopolitan May 2009
• American Chronicle
She has appeared on WebTalk Radio.net with Philip & Lisa Mulford on Communication 360.
On Saturday February 21: Should You Stay or Should You Go?
Doctor Bonnie talked about the warning signs to help you know when you should stay or when you should go. Most marriages can be saved!
“Beware of FOOTBALL ATTENTION NEUROSIS (F.A.N.)” but, Dr. Bonnie, football/relationship therapist, has a highly recommended, simple, tried-and-true cure!
I WAS INTRIGUED by Benedict Carey’s F.A.N. Feb 1st 2011 article in the Science section of the NY Times .
A few years ago as a “football therapist” I coincidentally was interviewed by a sports writer at the NY Times in the sports section on Superbowl Sunday on “the marriage” of Brady and Belichick.
Re: F.A.N. I advocate an addictive, tried and true technique for the playoffs and especially the Super Bowl!
FOOTBALL THERAPY: “cuddling” and kissing during half time and before the game like foreplay, pre-football play or PFP (oxytocin known as the cuddle hormone) to reverse the anxiety, fear, rage, hyperactivity, heart palpitations to name a few experienced with Football Attention Neurosis.
The cuddling and 30 second kissing produces oxytocin giving one a natural endorphin high. This trumps the self-medicating high of the Superbowl frenzy of overindulging food and alcohol that gives an energy low the next day.
Is it any wonder many want the day off the day after SuperBowl?
Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN.
Dr. Bonnie is also available for phone therapy. Call 212-606-3787 for more details and to schedule an appointment with Dr. Bonnie.
Cuddling Inappropriate?
Making love can help your partner to feel more comfortable with cuddling, but it takes time and safety for that to happen. Having sex helps it to happen sooner because sexual intimacy releases "vasopressin," the risk taking hormone.
Dr. Bonnie's works with couples and individuals on:
• Dating & Relationship Therapy
• Individual Therapy
• Couples Counseling
• Break Up Help
• Pre-Marital Counseling
• Separation Counseling
• Divorce Counseling
• Parenting Issues
• Adultery Counseling
• Straight Couples Therapy
• Gay Couples Therapy
• Drug Addiction
• Alcohol Addiction, Alcoholism
• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
• Workaholism - Workaholic
• Foodaholic - Food Addiction
• Teaching Families New Techniques to Work with Children
• Narcissism and Narcissistic Behaviors
• Anger Management
• Sexual Healing for Couples
• Forgiveness After The Affair
• Restoring Passion and Intimacy
• Communication and Intimacy for Men and Women
As Storm Stella prepares to blanket the Northeast with snow, I implore you to use it as an excuse to make some long-lasting winter memories! While not being able to get to scheduled appointments – like work, school, meetings, etc – can be stressful, it’s important to use the mandatory down-time to rekindle a spark with your significant other. Refocus this downtime and put it to good use. 
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