Why did the lack of touching and hugging for couples during the pandemic cause breakups now?

Why did the lack of touching and hugging for couples during the pandemic cause breakups now?

Dr. Bonnie, author of Make Up Don’t Break Up, is seeing more breakups AFTER the pandemic with even couples that lived together harmoniously during the pandemic. The lack of touch, hugging, kissing can make some “not in the mood”, like “if you don’t use it you lose it “. This can be a false sense of “I’m not feeling it, I’m not in love anymore”. It has to do Dr Bonnie says with oxytocin, the cuddle hormone that is elicited when we kiss or touch or make love! It makes us feel safe and bond with our partner, lack of it can contribute to a “wandering eye, she says in her book Aduitery the Forgivable Sin”.

Many, even engaged or marrieds did not make love or kiss or touch during the pandemic, for fear of exposing their loved ones. As a result many now feel like room mates and mistake this for “falling out of love”, rather then recreating through rituals the same chemicals they made when they first fell in love!

As the USAToday article on May 29 tells us hugging reduces stress, improves the immune system, and Dr Bonnie says gives us a high, a rush from the dopamine it elicits! Touch is a way we communicate and connect and lack of it brings on anxiety or even depression, we misread as I need a new partner to make me feel better.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil, known as one of America’s best therapists, with more than 35 years’ experience, a global phone-based practice, and a private practice in New York City with a 98% success rate! New York Magazine listed her as one of New York City’s best therapists and the U.S. Commerce Association voted Dr. Bonnie Best Therapist 2011-2018. Dr. Weil’s accolades include recognition from being on The Oprah Winfrey Show five times chosen by Oprah as one of her top 10 shows in 25 years. Dr. Bonnie has also appeared on NBC’s The Today Show that featured her “live” couples who practiced her innovative communication skills from her featured best seller Make Up Don’t Break Up. Dr. Bonnie is frequently featured and gives expert relationship advice on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox News.

The best-selling author of:
Adultery: The Forgivable Sin
Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples
Financial Infidelity; The #1 Relationship Wrecker
Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery

Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.

Dr. Bonnie is available for phone therapy. Call 212-606-3787 for more details and to schedule an appointment with Dr. Bonnie.

Are You Having a “Sex Drought?”

Are You Having a Sex Drought?

Today it was announced that 1/4 of the population is missing having sex and say we are having a sex “drought”.

Are you having a sex drought?

Consider using some of Dr Bonnie’s Smart Heart Tips to bring back that romance and magic.

1. Pay attention to your partner 10 minutes a day and look in their eyes;
2. Kiss 30 sec at least weekly;
3. Cuddle in the morning and at night 20 sec for “dopamine “rush;
4. Do a “check in” weekly: Am I loving you the way you need to be loved this week?;
5. What happens outside the bedroom affects what’s going on inside the bedroom so be kind daily and treat your partner like you would a guest;
6. Plan for sex like you did when you first met or it won’t happen;
7. Make Sex a priority, don’t make it last on your list, stop the excuses; it bonds you from the “cuddle “hormone oxytocin and is the “glue” in a relationship and a marriage!
8. Sex regularly is a stress reliever and we can all use that. So make time to connect (put it on your calendar or it won’t happen) and connect sexually at that.

For more information on SmartHeart skills, check out her book, winner of NY Times Reader’s Choice Award, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples” for more magic in marriage.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists and US Commerce association. Manhattan best therapist.

Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker.

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN.

Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.

Dr. Bonnie is available for phone therapy. Call 212-606-3787 for more details and to schedule an appointment with Dr. Bonnie.

Thanksgiving is a Time to Give Yourself a Pat on the Back!

Yes, 2020 has been a tough year, and Thanksgiving is a time to give yourself a pat on the back (self-gratitude) for you and your family’s resilience, endurance, and putting one foot in the front of the other!

Says Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil, family therapist: As a family, appreciating the good in each other, and kudos for getting along, even while being together 24/7, during a pandemic, is a reason to celebrate!

Love is HEALING, remember that as you give thanks. Many families got a chance to get closer and spend more time with parents, partners and children, from the pandemic. Use that love and closeness that you all rekindled as a guiding light going forward!!
Dr Bonnie Eaker-Weil, author of Make Up Don’t Break Up, wishes you a “safe” loving thanksgiving and a beautiful new path.

How to Get Psyched for a Smaller “Safer” Thanksgiving!

Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil, author of Make Up, Don’t Break Up, renowned family therapist teaches us how to get psyched for a smaller “safer” Thanksgiving.

She asks: How many of you have had angst in the past of “going home” for the holidays?

Having a dreaded possible confrontation with your sister or teasing session with your older brother, or having to suck up to Aunt Julia! What I’m hearing NOW from patients, “those were the good old days”, “miss going back home due to not being able to!” because of covid.

Some tips To help us be grateful for those past Thanksgiving memories and BUILD on them, for a “safer”, smaller, but loving grateful one!!
1. You can PICK your “favorite” people as the guest list is limited (you can leave Aunt Julia out) without the guilt!!
2. Buy fun masks and have them for guests
3. Less fuss and muss for you with smaller gathering, a more relaxing holiday
4. Plate food before so no one touches food.
5. Politely ask people previous whereabouts and their health re: covid prevention beforehand
6. Connect with elderly, vulnerable, sick family or friends VIRTUALLY during the dinner by sending food by takeout for them and eat with them at the same time!!
7. Err on the side of caution, and if you have an elderly family PROTECT them with VIRTUAL connection instead
8. Use this opportunity to meet and eat with people who would be too far away at your table, do it VIRTUALLY!

Dr. Bonnie Encourages a Sexy Touchdown During the Football Playoffs

Marriage is Like Football

Dr Bonnie known as adultery buster and football therapist, author of Make Up, Don’t Break Up found the perfect card to give to her husband for Super Bowl Sunday.

Do you agree with Dr. Bonnie that marriage is like football?

As the card says: “In marriage and football: “there is Huddle, Rushing, Time out, Unsportsmanlike conduct, Clipping (coupons), Hand-off, Backfield in motion, Forward Pass, Offsides (while sleeping), Sacking the Quarterback (Sunday mornings playfully snuggling), and We Make a great team!!!!!

Marriage can be a playful touchdown says Dr. Bonnie.

How to Combat the Uncertainty of the Coronavirus Pandemic

HOW TO COMBAT THE UNCERTAINTY OF THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC

Hi, I’m Dr Bonnie and I want you to know I’m here for you to help ease your transition with this uncertainty to your “new normal” routine and shelter in place (your new office) from the coronavirus pandemic.

Here are some tips to practice daily.                     
1. Hug and cuddle frequently, it raises “feel good “endorphins, increases the immune system ,and reduces PTSD with the “cuddle“ hormone oxytocin
2. Get into a routine for you and your family and set clear limits and boundaries.
3. Watch the news sporadically and NOT before bedtime and NOT first thing in the morning which can cause “contagion” panic like catching a cold!
4. Avoid panic or denial. For grounding close your eyes, take some deep breaths, visualize wearing GROUNDED red boots anchoring you in the moment, especially when fearful of the uncertainty.
5. Take it ONE Day at a time in the here and now; do not think too far ahead or try to predict the future. Do not think “WHAT IF”.
6. Instead of worrying practice prayer and meditation and gratefulness. Be kind instead, not just to others but practice self-compassion also. Stay connected to loved ones, hold them dear, appreciate them and show it, by saying I love you, miss you even if from afar!
7. See this as a pause for self-reflection and feel the love rather than feeling out of control

Contact me on info@ doctorbonnie.com or 212-606-3787 if you or your child or family are exhibiting stress and anxiety or panic. I am here to ease your burden.

Aphrodisiacs for Every Day, not Just Valentine’s Day

Americans tend to have a fascination with the romance of Valentine’s Day, but there’s no reason that those thoughts and feelings can’t extend beyond the day of love. Instead of getting depressed once the romance and excitement of Valentine’s is over, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil advises couples use foolproof aphrodisiacs that will help bring back chemicals created when they first fell in love. CBS News reports on some common foods that have romantic properties (http://cbsloc.al/yQAuyv) which Dr. Bonnie suggests incorporating into a weekly or monthly routine:

• Dark Chocolate – Contains PEA which makes people feel in love and creates an endorphin high, plus it releases serotonin, which leads to a good mood.
• Pesto: Garlic, pine nuts and basil are symbols of love. Pine nuts help libido which help with sperm production -they are rich in zinc which is essential for male potency.
• Raspberries: sensual fruit that are rich in antioxidants and may increase stamina
• Honey lavender-vanilla cream: these aromas are powerful stimulants that may increase arousal – perfect with raspberries for an aphrodisiac aroma, making you feel more intimate with your partner.
• Champagne – the effervescence helps this form of alcohol travel through the blood stream more quickly. Plus, it makes couples feel more sizzle and spice, and also perfect to serve with raspberries.

Dr. Bonnie suggests couples use these tips all year round. She tells couples who have been together for a while to “make a decision to fall in love again” and including these foods in a repeatable ritual is a smart way to do that.

“These foods can help bring couples closer together, which will help them re-create the chemistry they had when they first got together.”

The power of touch is crucial to sustaining a healthy relationship and by making it part of a relationship ritual, couples can turn every day into Valentine’s Day.

For more info on smart heart skills, romance magic and preventing and treating and forgiving adultery, enroll in Dr. Bonnies online education to-go course, Marriage and Relationships: Keys to Success. Check out her book, winner of NYTimes Reader’s Choice Award, “Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples” for more warning signs and solutions to reach magic in marriage.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists and US Commerce association. Manhattan best therapist. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker.

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary “Unfaithful” and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.

Dr. Bonnie is available for relationship therapy via phone. Call 212-606-3787 for more details and to schedule an appointment with Dr. Bonnie.

Eye Catching Ways to Attract Your Valentine’s Day Crush

Eye Catching Ways to Attract Your Valentine’s Day Crush

Dr Bonnie Eaker Weil, Relationship Therapist/Adultery buster is author of “Make up, Don’t Break Up” and “Adultery The Forgivable Sin” and says “paying attention to your appearance is not being “superficial “, it’s how the chemistry/lust initially starts and is maintained!!”

The most romantic day of the year, Valentine’s Day, is approaching quickly and that means it’s time to think about how you’re going to prepare yourself for who you’re going to spend it with. Whether it be your new partner or someone you’ve been with for years, there are many factors you should be taking into account in order to make sure that spark will be there this Valentine’s Day. Check out my best tips on how to have a memorable day with your special someone.

Spruce Up Your Appearance

Although it seems superficial, studies have shown that our appearance is a significant way of attracting potential mates. Even more than personality, intelligence, and education, research has found that men and women equally rely predominantly on physical attractiveness to entice their crush and potential partner. This means it is even more important to look your best for your significant other or potential crush since it can lead to a new or bigger spark.

For men, it’s no secret that women find beards and mustaches sexy, so if you’re able to grow out and tame your facial hair in a stylish way, it can be a new side of your look that won’t go unnoticed by your partner. This means having to keep up your grooming process and the best way in doing so is by choosing the best razors and face creams that will help get you the shave you’re looking for. Take note of your relationship goals and how your facial hair can play a part. For example, stubble proves better for more sexual encounters while full beards demonstrate a sense of seriousness and emphasis on fatherhood and maturity. Add in a little cologne and some stylish clothing as well and it makes you look like a whole new man. Many women find a sense of style sexy, so upgrading your wardrobe can have your partner looking at you in a new light.

Attraction works both ways, and women should be thoughtful in the way they present themselves to potential suitors or existing partners as well. Men find bright, shining smiles among one of the top traits in women, so investing in your smile is a great way to send ripples of emotion throughout your crush or significant other. Another thing to ponder is how much makeup you use. You may think that adding layers of contour and eyeliner will help you out, but most men find natural looks to be most attractive. Apply only the bare necessities in order to hold on to your beautiful, natural look. Finally, taking care of your hair both in and out of the shower is one aspect of your appearance that can spark your look. Shiny and sleek hair is often categorized with great overall health and positivity so maybe look into changing your hairstyle if you’re looking to give a great impression.

Build the chemistry

For more developed relationships, building and maintaining chemistry with your partner can be a tough task, especially as time continues to move. However, there are ways you should constantly be improving your connection. One easy way is to rekindle old activities and things you used to do to remember old times. Whether it’s going on a vacation to a place that holds significant meaning or going to the gym together, getting back to your roots can help you and your partner feel something again.

Likewise, another easy way to get intimate with the one you want to get closer to is by getting to know them better and committing your interest in their personality and life. Start having deeper conversations with them to build trust and confidence. These kinds of actions are attractive and can open up new dimensions to your relationship.

First impression is key

Pivoting scenarios, for people looking to do some initial sparking on Valentine’s Day with a potential crush, think about how you’re going to make an impactful first impression, either on a first date or a social media message. Be genuine with your impression and stay true to who you are. The real success in attraction comes from sticking to your roots and radiating who you are authentically.

Try and find common ground and similarities that you can explore through both conversation and potential date activities. The more you express who you truly are, the more you are able to get a spark out of your first impression.

Try something new sexually

There’s no secret that longer relationships can get stale, especially sexually, so don’t be afraid to try something new sexually on Valentine’s Day. Whether that be introducing dressing up and roleplaying or adding something pleasurable to your sexy time, this can show off a sense of braveness and edginess that can be seen as a turn on. Having an open conversation ahead of time is essential though to make sure both people are comfortable with change. This can open doors to deeper levels of affection!

With all of these tips in mind, you should have no trouble sparking a fire and maintaining the raw emotions with your partner. Just remember to be yourself, prepare ahead of time, and be open-minded and you’ll be sure to have the sparks flying high this Valentine’s Day.

Love and Lust this Valentine’s Day: Bring it on